I’ve been spending the last few days with relatives. You know, for the holidays. I gotta say I’ve been having fun. Maybe it’s because the burdens of my MDD feel lighter. It’s quieted because I’ve accepted my suicide. I’m happier because I know in about two weeks I’m going to be gone. I know this happiness can’t last and once they leave it’ll all be back. But I’m at peace with my decision. I’m just happy to be done with the world and my failure of a life.
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6 comments
Accepting death isn’t a beautiful thing or anything but if this is true then, good for you. Once beyond the fear of death things start to finally fear more like a breath of fresh air and the beginning of peace finally. Not happy to hear you go soon but glad that you can escape your hell.
I never understood why people who have family and relatives that actually you can spend time with and care about you, why, you would just kill yourself.
But, to each their own, best of luck to you.
Hard to explain when you don’t know what it feels like to not feel any sense of love and motivation to live from family but it’s kinda like your mind wont allow it.
my family function finished just 2 days back.. for me today is the last day
Take that feeling and keep it going, i’ve kept mine on for over 15 years, life is short, you can always take that road if you need to, ideation is a serious thing though, you should call crisis counselling, its free. Talk to a person, hear their voice. It helps.
you need to stay. you know it, it’s why you’re still here. remember every good time. You have your own life in your hands, it’s what you make it. Change your people places and things and activate your support network.
This is REALLY IMPORTANT. There are people out there that are awesome and funny and waiting to meet a friend JUST LIKE YOU. You have to be around though.
Maybe if you can identify the source of your feelings and then fix those issues, you can feel good/better.
Just saying.
Im not against suicide, but I believe a lot of folks, even on here, don’t have to go that far. Many have lived and fixed their issues.
Its worth a try, after all, we dont know what is really on the other side,,,,, and once there, if for whatever reason, its not the peace you expected…… you are left in a hell you cant escape.