i don’t get it. why am i not good enough? why does he not tell me he’s cheating. he is. i know he is. he knows i know, so just admit it. why can’t i break up with him? he was supposed to be my sanctuary. now he’s my pain. i can’t go or be anywhere with him because i know what he’s doing. this sucks. can’t i get some peace? happiness? should i leave? it’d probably better – for both of us. he could be with the person he wants to be with. he won’t have to worry about hurting me. he can be happy. but i sit here, not letting him go. acting. pretending. i should leave. lie. tell him i don’t love him anymore. tell him i’m moving schools. leaving him thinking we’ll still see each other once in a while. but in reality, i’ll be gone. not from the school or his life. but from this world. i’ll be dead. and it will be alright. because he’ll be happy with that other person he loves. that other person he really loves. one more moment. that’s all i want. then i’m done. then i’ll give him up and let him go. cause it will be better that way. he will get what he wants. and i’ll be gone before i can fully realize what i let go of. he the last person i was living for. he was all i had tying me to this place. but now, i don’t have it. so i can go. he’ll be better without me. happy without me. i’m just dragging him down. that’s obviously the reason why he’s cheating on me. no more of this. i want have to be confused. or hurt. scared. sad. wrong. depended on. because i’ll be gone.
share your suicide story
Report Post
Please log in to report posts
7 comments
You should tell him the truth, in the clearest and least abusive way possible… and then leave (him, not life). Make a new life for yourself, and don’t let anyone undeserving have any part of it. Make people earn your permission to participate, before you invite them in.
AND YOU ? WHY ARE YOUR DESIRES NOT IMPORTANT?
I would have written almost exactly the same thing just before I tried to end it on Aug. 30th.
Maybe you have already read why I am here. If you dont and want to know let me know (I’ll do it email, and we should email coz I was in your position and can offer advice).
FLwaterguy (at) gmail (dot) com.
Been where you are, we have to talk.
sorry, FLwaterguy99 (at) gmail (dot ) com.
(the other one I just posted is not correct).
The girl I like is like that. Her boyfriend cheated on her on their anniversary. Yet they stayed together, for the 3rd time. WTF? Why doesn’t she realize, he’s not worth it. The ring she wears is one he stole from Walmart- and she knows it! Sabrina is the name of the girl I like. U seem to be in the same spot as her except she doesn’t mind her relationship abuse.
There is something called “co dependency”.
My wife cheated, I forgave her, she did it again. Once a cheater, always a cheater. He won’t stop, ever. Thats how they are. Its not that I didn’t realize it the first time around, but felt she was sorry she did it, and took her back. This time, no. I would never want her back.
The guy will eventually get his “karma”, as those types always do.
Im my case, she was outright possessed (don’t laugh).
Im in the same situation at the moment. Only we have kids and he cheated while i was pregnant and told me a week after i gave birth. But im still here. Trying to make it work. But like you i feel worthless. I cant find a reason to stay. Not even my kids since i never wanted them and only agreed not to have abortions because he wanted kids so badly and promised he would love me and be there for me thru everything. It sucks when the one person who saved you no longer wants you and you cant let go. The rock keeping you grounded is pulling it all out from under you. Love sucks