I’ve been laying on a bed for hours contemplating shooting myself in the head. I had a beautiful life in which I was attending school, a beautiful wife, and teaching music my passion. Now I’ve graduated, I still kinda teach but my best friend since high school doesn’t want me anymore. I’ve done so much to hurt her and I can’t ever tell her how I feel. She wants us to be divorced now so she isn’t reminded of me. I don’t blame her but this is really baring down on me. I’ve cried for two months now about every other night and I want this hell to end. I would think there’s so much more to life but I don’t care anymore. Â Everything I’ve done has just led up to a big lie where I end up like myself. I’m just nothing right now and I really hope seeing my friend tomorrow will change my mind. Otherwise this is the last 24 hours and you’re sharing my last moments in life. All I’ve done is mess up. Everything always ends with me alone and my biggest regrets of irresponsibility. I’m just not good anymore. I’m not really afraid for this. But I always thought the future was so much better. I really care for her but she’ll never know it. I’m just 23. Please help me.
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3 comments
Please, give it time. It sounds terrible, it really does; you’ve lost a hell of a lot, and whether you are to blame or not, removing yourself will not help you or anyone else.
It’s never too late to change. If you survive the next day, give yourself another day, you god damn earned it. Then give yourself a week. Just hang in there.
You can make it. And not only can you make it but you can turn everything around!
When I was your age I was a drug addict and living in a graffiti den. I’m much older now and whereas life has thrown me around a lot, every time I consider dying, I just remember the last time I considered it, and all the amazing things that have happened since. I have lost, sure, but I have loved, I have created beautiful things.
Please, do not die.
If you keep on living, you will love again, you will be happy again.
It won’t happen tomorrow or the next day, but it will happen.
You will be glad, just as I am, that you decided not to die.
Stay with us. I care.
23…….. so young.
Please stay. Continue is right. You have a lot ahead of you. I went (and am still going through) hell, but I am here. Just the news I got the other night set me back to last Aug. when I tried to end it. I felt like it again, although now there are things and people who have made the difference in my life compared to last Aug.
Try realizing 17 years of your life and everything you thought was real, fun, happy, was actually a lie and really pure evil. Its a lot to deal with, but I am still here.
I iell you this because if I can hold on, so can you. You should have hope. and most pf all, pray to God, because He has made events happen in my favor where there is no doubt He is real and in control of all things.
You have a future. Don’t let your current mindset take you down.
Let the time decide… Don’t go spiraling down into your brain. There is more to come in life… ugliness and beauty.