A little over a year ago I met the love of my life. We had everything in common, he made me laugh, and I wanted to spend the rest of my life with him. For a few months, he seemed to be in love with me, too. But after a few months, he just lost interest in me. He stopped wanting to have sex and acted like he was annoyed of me and that I was a chore. We broke up and 2 months later he was dating someone else. The girl he started dating is beautiful, smart, and has lots of friends. They are perfect for each other. They are both incredibly happy with each other and in love. But now I am left alone and will probably never meet anyone I love as much as him. I don’t understand how I can give him everything I have and he doesn’t even care, it’s not good enough for him. I’m doing poorly in school, my friends don’t understand me, and I just feel completely alone and pained constantly. I feel like I have lost my entire identity. I have never been as happy in my life as when I was with him, and I probably never will be again. I have tried talking to other people but it’s never the same. It’s no wonder he doesn’t love me, I am just a loser. I just want to kill myself so I don’t have to deal with the pain I feel everyday. Nothing can make it go away. It’s been half a year and I still can’t forget him. I have no hope anymore, my life will never be the way that I want it to be. I just want to be done. I am not giving anything to this world, no one needs me or wants me. I am useless. I fail at everything I do. I feel guilty for caring this much about a boy, but I can’t help it.. the pain is so physical. I constantly feel like giving up and I can’t stop the thoughts no matter what I do. There is no relief from it. I HATE MYSELF.
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Sorry to hear that. I want to kill myself for what I feel are much more troublesome reasons but I still respect your story. Im not gonna shit around here I’m suicidal and I am too far gone that In the next 5 years I see myself in a mental hospital or group home for the rest of my life If I don’t responsibly jump off a bridge to the gravel below. I hope you can get better.
I’m so picky and etc I never thought I would find love. But it hit me out of nowhere for a certain someone 15 years ago. I remember a lot of it in vivid detail. It went similar to yours – out of nowhere she was cold with me and everything I did was wrong and then she ended it. I was devastated. For the next month I couldn’t even eat right. It took a long time for me to get over her. Honestly I’m still not over her – but I’ve accepted it and have no choice but to move on. (I like the quote “don’t be sad that it’s over, be happy that it happened.”)
To this day I’d give up everything in my life just to relive one of our dates again. I can’t tell you “it gets better” but eventually you will somewhat put it behind you. What sucks though is everyone I meet since her, I look for that “spark” and I never feel it, I either fake it or I reject them. I met someone recently (literally like a week ago) who might be giving me a spark, but it’s still way too early to tell and we barely know each other.. this stuff never goes well for me..
@b5544 I wish I could tell you that it all gets better, I’ve been where you are now and will probably be there again real soon. I have to say it is the absolute hardest thing I have gone through in my life, having to let go of someone I truly loved. Sometimes I think to myself and wonder how I managed to do that because right now I don’t think I could do that. Its a nightmare crying to sleep waking up crying because everyday you wake up you have to accept it all over again. I got sick I broke out in rashes on my face from constant wiping of tears and I would throw up alot. As the days went by and turned to months the pain sort of faded away, but I walked around with a piece of me missing. I played it out in my head over and over again wishing I could change it or just talk to him one more time. But I thought to myself if I truly deeply love him then I’ll let him go because I want him to be happy even if it isn’t with me. It always hurts theres always something that will remind me of him. And inside im emtpy, I can’t tell you how the ending feels because i’m currently going through it still. I’ve had a very negative view of love lately and life but I’m just hurt and idk what to do. Just know that you arent alone. I share your pain too 🙁
Um….. love of your life? More like someone who played you and used you for a short while until he got bored and moved on to his next target.
You’re just young so you don’t understand that this is how a lot of people work.
It’s not personal. You didn’t do anything wrong. And his new girlfriend isn’t special or better than you. She’ll get thrown away one day too. Just watch.
Word of advice, there’s a huge difference between being infatuated with someone and experiencing true love.
So you can relax, take a deep breath, let this painful experience go and just carry the lessons you learned with you so another one of his kind isn’t able to pull this shit on you again.
@Whyyyy: You again capture what I’m feeling, that if I don’t leave very soon I’m going to end up homeless and “ill,” or the stamped property of the State, treated little more humanely than (other) animals in factory farms. Yes, better to get the hell outta Dodge before either one happens.