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Silence

by emptyalways

“I swear I hear your voice, it’s driving me insane”

Some days are better than others. My bad days though, they shatter me. On my bad days it feels like somebody has opened up my chest, taken a handful of my heart, and ripped it out. Some days I don’t miss him, but when I do, my entire being misses him. He wasn’t just my boyfriend, he was my best friend. I know.. how cliche right? Well it’s the truth. He knew how to handle me at my worst, he loved me unconditionally and wiped away all of my tears. He took it when I screamed at him even when he didn’t deserve it, which he didn’t 98% of the time. He took away what I used to hurt myself, he talked to me in the counselors office at school and would spend all night talking to me. He’d hold me while I slept and kiss my forehead so I’d know I would be okay for the night. I guess if anything, I don’t miss the relationship, I miss the friendship. I miss having someone who understood what I was going through. I miss having someone that I could be myself around. I miss having someone who knew that I could snap at any second but still chose to stick by my side. I just miss him. I miss him everyday and not talking to him makes it that much more harder. Seeing him randomly at school, it hurts. It’s like a stab to my chest. Deep and painful. I don’t know how much longer I can handle the silence between us.

 

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4 comments

66.44. 2/27/2014 - 10:49 pm

πŸ™ I’m so sorry.
It’ll be okay. Just think of other things. Be immature with your friends, or make new friends, or just do whatever you want πŸ™‚ because you have no one to worry about now atleast. But I’m sorry πŸ™

H0peless Wanderer 2/27/2014 - 10:55 pm

I know how that feels, it’s an open wound inside your mouth, that if you only could stop licking it, it would go away. Much like past relationships, the only thing you can do, and should do, is try to forget.
It’s hard to see the future from the dark hole you find yourself in, but trust me, one day it will get better. You will find someone new who makes you feel the same, or even better.
I really hope you reach that day, because everyone deserves to be happy.

emptyalways 2/28/2014 - 12:11 pm

It really is like an open wound, and as soon as it starts to heal it gets re-opened. It’s like a merry go round almost. I know one day the hurt will stop but right now it refuses to.

sgiksw 2/27/2014 - 11:33 pm

thank you for your thoughts.

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