This isn’t really how I feel NOW, but I wrote that earlier this week ’cause this is something I do a lot :
Bath time was over. It was enough. So I pulled the bathtub plug. Then the water started to go away, slowly. I didn’t really want this bath to end, so I stayed there waiting for the water to vanish. Then I started thinking about you. About how it was over and that I didn’t really want it to end. When the water was leaving me, I felt as insecure as I was when you first started to walk away. At first, it was subtle. But as the time went by, I realized you would be gone soon.

I still had a lot of water and I still was able to feel the heat on my skin. At every second, I increasingly got colder and colder. A normal person would have got out of the bathtub before the water completely dissipates. But I’m not normal, and you know that. I stayed there enjoying the last drops of heat. Like I stayed there for you while you were fading away. I knew I was about to get cold, but I didn’t care.There was still some water. You were still there, a little. 

When the water was totally gone, I still didn’t want to move. I still had some of it on my skin. I still have some of you on my heart. And i’ll stay there until you dry out. I won’t move on. Until I dehydrate and die.
8 comments
11/10 would drink
Often when I have a shower I’ll switch it up to “brrrrrrr I can’t feel my nips” cold and sit in the tub with the water rushing into my face as I gaze down into the sinkhole. I understand what you’re referencing to (beautifully written and expressed may I add :-)) and yes indeed I’ve had that feeling too, but sooner or later we have to get out because…hey, water bills aren’t cheap, and our skins creased enough from being water logged anyway. Besides, I’d feel a little uncomfortable being nekkid with no water running in the tub.
You just described a soldier’s worst enemy. Dehydration. Well done, have a glass, on me.
*presents refreshingly cold glass of water*
Now get outta the tub, I need a shower! 🙂
Every contact anyone has with anyone, if it’s on a deep enough level, shapes who they become in the future. Most likely, the person you’re talking about here as droplets of water on your skin, has the same residual feeling from you. The most anyone can do is accept that things happen and people drift away, and it’s not necessarily a bad thing if it changed you for the better because of knowing them. Then you can take those good things that you remember, that helped shape who you are today, and share them with someone else who hopefully won’t drift away similarly.
Mysterious Stranger : thank you, and yeah, it’s really weird to stay in the tub with no water, Im a really weird girl 🙂 Thanks for the words
Lorax: i totally agree with you, it’s something I rationally say to people around me, but emotionnaly Im kinda fucked up and have no control. Anyway, right now, I don’t feel this kinda deep need from anyone, i just feel like I need a break from relationships.
You need some time and distance to be able to see it like that. It’s one thing to say, another to live. The only reason you can rationally say it is because you know it works that way, maybe from past experience. I know it works that way from past experience, but there are a great span of years between me and those people now, so it’s easier to see it that way. If you need to take a break from relationships, do it, definitely. There’s nothing wrong with that – sometimes it’s necessary.
Yeah, that’s what I’ll try to do. Sometimes people happen, though, and I can’t control the feelings, so I guess we’ll see 🙂 Thank you again ♥
You can always come to teh chatroom if you wanna talk and such. 🙂 Hope you’re feeling okay today.
I soooo wish i could go there when Im at work. It’s not even blocked but i get an endless loading when i try to join the room 🙁 So yeah, I’d be there all the time if I could, but I sure will visit at nights 🙂
I think ****** is just mean sometimes. That happens to me, too, but it’s usually off and on. lol
If it were up to me I’d have moved the whole thing to an IRC server hosted on the computer in my room. 😛 Probably would have been less glitchy.