Another Person

So once i had went to a aslyum for my cuts. I had met so many people had i saw past they cuts and burns they were beautiful with words and drawings and anything. But there was on that stood out the most. It was the first time ive ever seen someone with a huge deep slash on their throat. That person was always alone looking out the window like if he was waiting or just thinking. So i thought well let me see if i can talk to him. Everyone said he never talked so i thought well this is going to be difficult but ill mange. So i went up to him and said hi he turned to me and looked at me. His eyes. There was so much pain in them i felt like i was just relating to him. I couldnt help but to give him a hug even though he didnt give one back. But then i heard a thanks from him i was shocked cause he was so nice. So everyday i would try and go see him. But one day he wasnt there i keep going back hoping id see him but he was never there so i thought maybe ill met him when i get out. I became sorta of depressed while i was in there everyone else seemed a little distant cause they thought i might hurt them cause i was with him. I finally got out i said by to everyone but i couldnt to one person. Like maybe a year later i saw him. A guy with that scar on his neck. Getting jumped by guys. I told my mom to stop i got off and ran to them and told them to stop they did and they left. I looked at him he was in bad condition he had broken bones internal bleeding and he had cuts on his arms. He would try to stand but couldnt so i offered him my hand. He gripped my hand and said you remembered me. No lie i broke down and asked how i could not remember him he was the best out of all of them. Finally i got to see him. But what i didnt know was that later he wouldnt be here because i wasnt there for him when he needed me the most. I was there with him and he told me hey stay with me a little longer please. I couldnt though i had to go. What i didnt know was that he had an abusive family. I hated myself so much cause of what he put in that fucking letter. He wrote dear sam i love you i thought you know maybe you would stay cause i trusted and believed you so much. But like everyone you left me. I could visit him every once a month out of a year. I hated that i couldndt be there to prevent this from happening. Then i thought well i might as well just go on with him i cant live with myself knowing that i couldnt be there to stop this. He cut himself deep on the wrist and had took so many pills that he had died from overdose and blood loss. I found him that way on his bed. I started to just clean up his wrist and cover it i thought that would help but i saw the pills and i freaked out. I did the same thing one time i know what happens. I got on him and listen for anything but there was nothing i didnt know cpr. So i just sat there crying seeing my friend dead all cause i couldnt be there. After that i started having nightmare so i stopped sleeping. I started cutting again. I stopped talking and showing all emotions. What they never told me was there was another letter. It read “Sam by the time you get this i might be gone and i know how you are i never met to hurt you by doing what i did. You have life youre full of potiental and so much more you have to keep moving have me in mind but dont stop life cause of me. Since i know you love Nemo listen to dory JUST KEEP SWIMMING.” That was it i couldnt hold it in i laughed smiled cried went on a ramapage everything all of my emotions just poured out. I moved on i started to keep moving. I got happy but i still had nightmares about him really bad. This still happens to me this day almost every day i have different or same nightmares with him. That person is gone but in my head he lives as a dream and friend and in my heart the same way. He may have just been another person but to me he was almost my life. Thats it end of this story cant keep going with this to emotional. Thanks for reading.

Here you have to cope with idea of losing somebody that was there for you and understood you but yet somehow you failed at being there. I still try to get by this and my sleeping.

Im trying to say is be there for them even if you get in trouble cause itll let them know youre there for them. Prevent this who cares if your mom says no stay if you have to so you can prevent the mistake i did itll totally be worth it i promise you. Imagine you seeing that person every day knowing hey i did that i stayed and helped that person.