i think it might be time

ok i typed a book here a bit ago, but apparently it was in the wrong place.  figures..  ok breifly now then here is my story so yall can tell me i have so much to live for.

have never completed any thing.  highschool i got my ged, army i took medical discharge, college went for 1 semester got screwed by student loans and now 7 years later i still owe 3x the original ammountand my tax returns for the last 5 years have been taken to go towards paying them.  the longest ive ever had the same job is 1year.  ive been homeless3-9 months out of each of the last 10 years, each time i loose my things and do more things i never thought i would.  also each time is for longer and harder for me to try and maintain a normal look, noboy wants to hire someone who looks like they slept in a dumpster last night to gey our of the wind.  im back on the streets again now after just going to a home the beginning of janary.  i know i could beg borrow and steal if I wanted too, and i couls probably start over again, but for how long before im back in same situation? It was just over 2 months out of it this time, and I ended up burning 1 more bridge so i now have 1 fewer people who might have helped.

That’s my story. So what do i have to gain by continuing on like this? I’m not sure if I can though. I’ve thought about suicide for most of the last 10 years and never done it, ive had knives, guns, drugs, etc… Never been able to even make an attempt.. But I think this might be the time. I only have a box cutter razor to try with now. I know I dont fully want to die otherwisei wolud have done it by now. Im just not sure if I can make it make it much lonfer anyway. Is it better to let nature kil me by starvation and cold, which coluld be soon i have been outside again since the 10th of Jan and have no Money