I’ve only been alive for 20 years, but every year i seem to realize, more and more, that life is entirely futile and not worth it. every year suicide seems more appealing. No matter how much i try to see the bright side or how much i try to create new things (art, music, etc.) i still feel empty and i feel that there really is nothing in this hollow world. nothing worth living for….money means nothing, love always leaves in the end, and everyone you know including yourself and myself, will eventully die. I fell that suicide is the most logical way to go, and if i wasn’t such a fucking coward i would have put a barrel to my temple long ago. im not looking for someone to talk me out of it. i just want my thoughts to go somewhere where no one will judge me
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Why do you say love always leaves in the end? You see elderly people so often who still love each other with all their heart, isnt that something worth striving for?
“l feel that suicide is the most logical way to go”
This post was beautiful
Is it worth striving for? we all die eventually. the ones we love will die, our children, our whole world ultimately. like i said im a coward so i probably wont do it…all i really want to do is lend perspective.
Those are usually Hollywood elderly couples, not elderly people in real life. Plus, divorce and cell phones have changed the dynamics of relationships dramatically.
“relationships” don’t really exist as they used to, i think
Why should we only strive for things that last forever, even till after we die? Isnt the happiness you get from a family worth it, even if it only last till your death?
I can talk about my grandparents and for the ones of friends I know, and they all love each other – not in the form that is common when you are young. The hormone-supported love only lasts a short time. After that love is about appreciating each other, even if you fight sometimes. It is obviously not about the excitement you get from your first love. That is also what many “modern lovers” dont understand – after the hormones are gone you will not have the excitement anymore, but rather true love. But for them excitement is more important, so they just find the next partner to “love”.
Awaiting moderation…
i dont think that anything lasts forever to think that anything lasts after death, to mea anyways, is foolish and wishful thinking
RealKris,
everybody will always have different opinions on things. Some say suicide is bad, some say it is good. Or I like to say, that I believe in choice. It is a choice I would never judge somebody on. Sometimes I see a good person being tempted to take their own lives, and I can’t help to think they’d be better off alive. That they deserve life. But never would I judge because of it.
We don’t know what comes after death. We don’t know IF there is anything after death. All we know is life, and that is pretty much my only logical reason to stay. Is to wield what we know, not what we could be wrong about.
It is everyday that suicide becomes a larger and larger temptation. It is everyday that I find less and less answers to the question ‘What am I holding on to?’. In fact, I think it is at the zero line now. At nothing. I always thought of myself as a coward too, of why I’m not dead yet. (I now know it is because of others). I don’t think you are a coward either. You mentioned ‘I probably won’t do it, I just want to lend perspective’. Seems more like you are opening yourself to different things. And that is good.
You make some very good points StruggleOn, I really internalize a LOT of my feelings because wher i live if you feel suicidal or that life is pointless you get ostracized and painted as a freak. which is a big part of the problem, i think. and i believe that i am a coward simply for the fact that ive allowed my existence to continue but maybe that is an error in thinking one my part, i don’t know,
i find myself having more questions than answers every year of my continued existence. i feel that no one really cares, a global apathy, if you will. the only solace i get is through writing and music
RealKris, here where i’m writing to you it’s late, i’m tired, so i’ll be short and brief.
It’s bullshit. What you’ve wrote it’s bulllshit. It’s the kind of bullshit i believed in for at least five years (i’m 20 too, i’ve started being depressed at 16) so i’m not saying you’re stupid, i’m just saying it’s a load of shit.
The truth is that you are sad, and i am sad too. So what we do, is that we invent superior issues to be upset about, like the meaningless of life, or the groundlessness of death. But the fact is that we are sad: sad because we are alone, because we are failures, because we can’t find love, because we can’t find peace.
Maybe it is benna, but I’ve gone further than sadness, and I think you’ll know what I mean when I say that. My life has been pointless to the point of emotional agony so far. The only people that make it worthwhile arey family and my few friends. I think you’ve been in my shoes and would ask you to share with me what gets you through it.
RealKris, if you wish to have an extended conversation (which it appears you do) then message me @ Joseph_blix2@yahoo.com.
I would love to debate with you / be your friend if you’d let me
P.S I’m 18, and had almost identical thoughts until I realized that i just needed something to live for. (I found it in wanting to better all of humanity.)