love is a Lie

When I first started dating I was excited thinking I could my “True love” yet every time I find a woman that I actually care for she disappears from my life. Every time that happens a crack goes on your heart the more your heart cracks the closer it comes to braking permanently. I’ve had so many brake ups in my life a good amount of them I really didn’t care like they only lasted a week and sexual things happened everyday with those girls but the women I cared for is a different story. When I care for a women and think I “found my one” but it always ends with pain’ sorrow and another crack. (The posts I made before this tells the past of these women) Morgan I thought was my “true love” I was absolutely fixated on her for years and I still am even though I try to tell myself I’m not. When Morgan left me my heart didn’t just crack it was torn blood everywhere I died inside. The suicide attempts started again. Before Morgan came to Calgary and weren’t talking to eachother I met a woman named Lucy. I was so happy when we started dating like I felt as if my heart was being repaired one stich at a time then one day I get the most generic brake up line ” its not you its me ” then all those stich’s snapped and not only did blood spill everywhere and the pain’ sorrow come with it but my heart is now 6 feet under with a broken tomb stone covered with black roses. This thing called “love” makes me sick like seeing people hold hands, hold hands or kiss because they are all happy and have someone but me I have fuck all. Love is a Lie because people say ” love is happiness ” so wait until that happiness ends and that love is gone then you will realize that love is a lie.