My Life So Far

March 17th, 2014by iliveinsidemyhead


So this is my story of my Depression and search for help.

I live in London and when I made the transition to year 7 it was very hard for me as I’m not great at changes and my aunt died of cancer recently, so I started seeing the school councillor. So it was all going well and helping with the death of my aunt, but after about two year when I was in year 9 another of my aunts died this time it affected me hugely so my mood dropped, so with this I started self harming. So I kept up with the self harm. But in about year 10 or 11 I started hearing voices that are outside my head and they were not very kind so in year 11 I tried to overdose, this didn’t work at all and I was completely fine. Then a few months after that I tried again this time hanging myself, but the rope slipped before so I was fine. so that takes us to the start of year 12, just to let you know me and this guy were really good friends and we made promises not to cut to each other, and there would come times where I had to stop him and he had to stop me. Sadly I was not there for him one day, this was the day he jumped in front of a train to kill himself. So my best friend just killed himself. So as you can tell that made me become extremely suicidal. After coping with this heartache my uncle decided to hang himself. So that’s two suicides in one year. so after this I was very suicidal and the voices were only getting worse. So in November of last year I took a major overdose, I was taken to hospital where my stomach lining had been burnt. So I was finally put on antidepressants. These didn’t work no matter how much they increased my dosage. Then at the end of last year my nan who is my inspiration became very ill. This January she died peacefully. So I had to get over all these deaths and my best friends anniversary was coming up soon. I got through all of this by cutting. Any-ways a few days a go a friend found me a the side of a train track ready to jump, she saved my life. So they stopped my anti depressants and I am now on anti psychotics. So that’s the part of my life that I am living with and I feel sorry for the 4 therapist I have and the 2 doctors and all my friends and family because this is the way I’m going and I feel as if I’m just wasting peoples time any-ways thanks for reading.


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