ive sat in this tub for hours trying to figure out a way to tell you. im sure you are confused as to why i did this to myself. Ill start out with school. I get bullied constantly. everyday im there. i get teased for how i dress and look. how i act and more. I came home crying almost everyday but you never seemed to care. you always told me that it would get better. well 5 years later it never got any better. it just got worse. from a scratch to blood all over my arm and floor. here i lay in a pool of my own blood. bleeding out with you crying over me. holding onto me. its too late mom and dad. you cant save me now. i did a big favor for you guys.
to my friends, you guys dont have to put up with my drama and bullshit. im sorry i wasted your time.
Just promise me that when youre crying, just look up at the sky and say goodbye. no need to cry. i belonged in heaven. I never belonged on earth. I love you all.
18 comments
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you cant leave us. add bubbles in that tub and come back in an hour. i’ll wait
if you seriously think about killing yourself why not risk something?
try to talk to a teacher at your school and explain your situation, he/she isn’t going to ignore your problems if it’s a good person
i know that is easier said then done and might not seem worth the effort in your situation but there can be much more to life then you are experiencing right now and you being so young holding on for some time might be worth it
it’s sad to see all these things happening to you you clearly don’t deserve
No need to punish yourself for the misdeeds of others K
please don’t!! don’t leave, give yourself the opportunity to find happiness, give me the opportunity to be your friend.
please send me an email & i’ll reply gladly.
Thanks Gilspac
Goddammit chick…there’s nothing wrong with the way you look. But I guess you just can’t believe me or any other of the many people who have told you that. And that really kills me. I don’t know how you can look in the mirror and think you are anything but pretty. School will end, it might seem like forever away but it will, and you will never see those people again. They tease you for the way you dress? Fuck em, dress however you want. As far as how you act, I don’t know you personally so I couldn’t say, but I’m sure you’re a good person. There are people out there who will appreciate you for who you are. They’re rare, but they exist. Talk to me, talk to someone, please. I hope this isn’t the last we hear from you. I just hate seeing this happen when it feels so…unnecessary.
Girl, this world of yours seems as real as hell, but it is just a temporary station.
Yes there are too many dumb cruel kids, schools seem to be full with them. You know what happens to them? Because they grow up so full of themselves while mommy and daddy cheer their bully behavior, most fail miserably when they finally get on their own. They are the ones that end up being the low level manager at McDonalds. Or delivering pizzas.
If you can pull through all this crap in school – it will end at some point. If you do pull through all of it, you’d have built a character that can handle anything (you survived through hell and regardless how meaningless it seems to you – it teaches you endurance for starters). When you start living your own life – on your won, in your own terms – what others thing of your dress and looks won’t matter anymore.
All of this doesn’t mean you shouldn’t try to do something about it now. Something other than taking your young life and punishing your parents for the rest of their lives. Bullying is less and less acceptable these days.. you can and should say something about it.
There are things that can be done. Even if the school fails miserably to address the situation, your parents still have options.
Hell, I’d rather pull my child from school/move/get home schooling/ANYTHING than bury her. ANYTHING, you read me? ANYTHING.
There’s no shame it telling them or anyone. Because it’s NOT your fault, and you DON’T have to take it.
I’m thinking this was her final note.
Did you know that you can time-delay when the post gets published? Technology is so advanced these days.
Yeah, Bipolar, I’m thinking this was on a time delay. Sorta sounds like it, based on the writing.
If that’s the case, leaving comments on here is rather ghoulish
wow b.a., wow
Also, this was in a post from her a little over a week ago…
“If your suicidal and you reading this. I know what your going through and I’m here for you if you need someone to talk to. God put you here on this planet for a reason. If there was no reason, you wouldn’t be here, but you are. You’re here because God wanted you here. You have a purpose in life. Life may not be so perfect right now, but i promise you somewhere down the line life is going to get better. Trust me. You’re going to meet that special someone and marry them. You’re going to be happy. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to get through this and live. I know you’re a strong person. You can fight through this. Im here for you. I will help you get through this. You’re one of a kind. No one else is the same as you. You’re the only one. Theres no one else just like you. Don’t kill yourself. You might be making someone smile just by living and you being around. I know you make me smile. Please stay. I love you!”
What the hell happened to all of that? Take your own advice girl, please.
And yeah, that’s one odd thing about this site, BA. I wonder how many posts and comments are floating around here from people no longer living. You could say the same thing about the internet at large of course, but not in such a confined scale.
To Suicidal Chick:
We know what you’re going through and all us are here here for you if you need someone to talk to. God put you here on this planet for a reason. If there was no reason, you wouldn’t be here, but you are. You’re here because God wanted you here. You have a purpose in life. Life may not be so perfect right now, but we promise you somewhere down the line life is going to get better. Trust us. You’re going to meet that special someone and marry them. You’re going to be happy. You’re going to be okay. You’re going to get through this and live. We know you’re a strong person. You can fight through this. We’re here for you. We’ll help you get through this. You’re one of a kind. No one else is the same as you. You’re the only one. Theres no one else just like you. Don’t kill yourself. You ARE making someone smile just by living and YOU being around. YOU make EVERYONE smile. Please stay. WE LOVE YOU !â€
I hear that.
Both Gilspace and I are blown away by this.
Well I’m a little weirded out by the possible ghoulish factor on this post, henceforth I will not speak on here until suicidal_chick comes back.
suicidal_chick ,
1. question are you around the same friends or people for the last 5 years?
if so you know people don’t know when to stop sometimes, maybe you need to make a change even home schooling? sometimes you have to walk before they make you run! I’ve done it myself 🙂 and things did get better.