Nothing is wrong with me

I don’t know how to be the way I used to be. Happy, caring, and ignorant. I have such a hard time when I get sad. I’m not depressed, I don’t think so. I’m happy, or at least semi-happy at times. I’m not a person that is miserable all the time. But when I do get upset I hit rock bottom. I lock myself up and cry and scrape my fists on brick walls.
I don’t know what to do, I don’t know what the hell happened. It’s as if someone snapped their fingers and I turned into someone started to disprove of, someone no one loves anymore. My parents treat me differently, my mom always fights with me over anything and tells me hurtful things. She doesn’t understand that I try my best to be the best I can be. I don’t think I ever was enough for her. She seems to have hope in my younger sister. It’s makes me sad. She also treats me like a delinquent, as if I go outside and whore around, inject heroin. Recently I started to get high bit its not an everyday thing and the only reason I get high is to help with the stress.
I hate myself so much, and I DON’T know how to deal with myself. I’m so pathetic. I just want to end it.
I want to be famous, not like Beyonce or another loser artist who thinks they are that shit. I want to be link Kurt Cobain. I want to impact the world with my suicide. One day.
As psychotic as it sounds.