Up here I feel safe. Insulated away from all of my life’s losses and troubles. If I simply vanished without a trace would my life have meant a dam thing? Would it have been purposeful? I’ve lost my chance and all of my dreams. I’ve never said a dam thing and I never will but this is a huge problem and part of my anger towards myself. I feel like getting on plane and never coming down. Safe, able to dream and look out and wonder the “what if”. But it’s all gone…..why not me.
But you probably have the same regrets.
Just me. An old man wanting to make some sense of his life. Was it even worth a dam thing, did I amount to anything. Sure don’t feel like it. So, f’it all. Why even stay. That’s how I feel inside. Just disappear and no one would know anything. Simply vanish leaving it all behind.
You need an echo to know your here but I don’t hear that echo. My life doesn’t create an echo, so am I really here?
My life is crumbling all around me and I can’t stop it or change it. It’s apparently inevitable that comes about. It just seems to be my final life’s bout and I just don’t care to see the outcome. This is on a course and right now it just seems to keep going and occupying all of my consciousness which in turn affects all of the people around me. I can’t keep doing this and that’s tending me towards. I can feel it winning this round. It’s extremely hard to be anywhere and I don’t like feeling this way. Maybe a winning round.