So, it’s the end of a terrible spring break. Last week, a kid in my class began making fun of Death, like it was something casual. He asked my closest friend if she “wanted to die”. She of course replied no, but he replied with “I think you’re lying”. I told him not to joke around about Death, cuz some people have bad memories with it. He flipped out on me, saying it was natural and nothing can stop it. Now, he had heard about my friend, and how she died in front of me, thanks to me, but he obviously didn’t care. It’s hard to make me break down. With the shit I’ve lived with, it’s hard. I let three tears slip out, and left the room (screwing myself on the pre calc). After that class, he came up to me at musical practice and started being that “I’m gonna be nice for now until this is all over”. Now he’s insulting me across the Internet. I just want to end it all. But if I go, then several will go with me. I don’t know what to do anymore. I was hoping to make it to Monday, when I’ll have some help, but this pain is too much to hold in anymore.
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Let me start off by saying that students, especially kids and teenagers, can be horrible brats. Trust me, I know this, i am 13 years old, and I can be this way as well. (Of course not this scenario, though, I am suicidal myself, why would I joke about death?) I don’t know what I can do to help, but you are welcome on this site. And I’m sorry for your loss.
Thank you. Not many are willing to listen to others. Still, the pain is something I can never be rid of, since its my fault she’s gone. (It is, you can say it isn’t.)
That loser kid in school probably had many problems of his/her own. Making others feel as low as he/she does must make some kind of justice in his mind. I am so sorry for your loss as well, I couldn’t imagine going threw that myself. try not to let that kid get the best of you. a sour puss like that with no respect for your feelings doesn’t deserve the satisfaction that they are hurting you. I hope this helps you stranger, because bullies are the soldiers of an endless battle. One that in the long run, the pained will prevail.
Are you comfortable talking about her death? And why you feel responsible?
If he even knew her name, I’d kill him for thinking it. I am not comfortable messing with Death. Asking for Death is one thing, saying one is lying about their standings with him is quite different. He does not know the fear that comes alongside the curse. I will tell her story, but never will I allow others to joke about her death.
I posted the story. It’s titled “Alexia Starlit: The Angel I Killed”