The Downward Spiral

March 16th, 2014by AlmostDead

OK.  So after 20 odd years of becoming progressively more miserable & incapable of participating in everyday life suicide attempts are bcoming more common.  A year or so back I filled a mug with a cocktail of every drug in my cupboard, including many of the different anti-depressants I’ve tried over the years & took the lot.  I slept an entire day & awoke incapable of moving without collapsing in spasms.  Spent the next 12 hours in hospital being constantly prodded & kept awake.  Told I’d taken enough pills to kill most people & was lucky.  Seems this method isn’t gonna work.  A short time later tried a bag on the head, but couldn’t stop myself from ripping it open. 

Have spent the last year researching every method available & they all either require extraordinary willpower, which I don’t have, or have been prevented due to health & safety & restricted sale of the components needed to acheive death.  What a miserable world that enforces a life sentence on those who can’t cope, while other’s who want to live suffer an early grave from terminal illness.

Maybe handcuffs are required with the bag?

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