I have been suicidal for at least two years now. I cannot stand to be alive and i have NOTHING to live for. I have no job, i live with my mom (im 33), i have no friends, no partner, no money, my family treat me like an outcast and i have no motivation or excitement in my life. I want to die but cannot for the life of me understand why im still here! Oh, and by the way im not religious. Does anyone else here have the same problem? Ive even chosen my method to exit this world but i dont know whats holding me back. By the way ive been majorly depressed for 11 years.