I have been suicidal for at least two years now. I cannot stand to be alive and i have NOTHING to live for. I have no job, i live with my mom (im 33), i have no friends, no partner, no money, my family treat me like an outcast and i have no motivation or excitement in my life. I want to die but cannot for the life of me understand why im still here! Oh, and by the way im not religious. Does anyone else here have the same problem? Ive even chosen my method to exit this world but i dont know whats holding me back. By the way ive been majorly depressed for 11 years.
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8 comments
Ever go the med route? How’d that turn out?
I’d say you gotta go out there and make something happen. Excitement won’t find you at your mom’s house.
Toxic – thanks for your reply. Ive tried every med out there, literally! Ive been hospitalised 8 times, gone through 10 yrs of therapy and 11 psychiatrists. Things got so bad i had to have ECT. It was awful! I would go out but have nobody to go with. I also dont have a car and im a pretty shy person. Recipe for disaster really…
‘Scumbag brain’ issues…
So why no job? I assume it’s hard to get meds/treatment when there’s no insurance.
I used to be so shy I wouldn’t answer a phone… phones scared me lol
Toxic – no job because im too ill and my moods are so unpredictable. I live in beautiful Cape Town, South Africa but the disability grants here suck! Not even enough to pay for a months rent/food! I still dont like answering the phone, lol.
Hi Blue, would it help to know I’m in the same situation too? Although I’m a bit older – 50, I’ve lost everything in life, and I mean everything, I am completely alone, and nothing seems to help to get me out of this pit. I have my plan, it’s very simple, comfortable, private, and effective. So yes, I ask, why am I still here? Even my mom is amazed I haven’t killed myself, and hinted that it would be OK if I did. All I can say is that reading about your situation has helped me to choose life even if for the sake of being there for another desperate soul. Even if just for an evening.
We’ve all been there- I’m there right now. Im hangin in there with you buddy. Talk to some other people in the same situation as you- misery loves company. If you havent killed yourself by now, theres obviously a reason youre still alive. Find that reason
well at least it’s beautiful down there =)
The only thing that’s ever held me here is lack of a means of exit. Someone be my hero and get me a gun. I’ll be gone baby gone.