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by Agony

Why is it that an adult can give a child up for adoption but a child can’t give itself up?

When a child is in a homesituation that it simply has no parents, the child has no where to go. He/she just fucked for life. If the child does decide to speak up about it then people don’t take him/her seriously. They say it’s normal for a child/teen to be rebellious. It’s not. But according to most adults talking back already makes you a rebel and therefore they do not listen. Sometimes I believe children aren’t even seen as humans. ”It’s just a child.” they say and wave it off. Yes, it’s a child and it’s feeling are just as important as yours. ”just a child.” as if that little person is on a low level. It’s not, it just sees things with different eyes.

Whatever, adults are hopeless.

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tbd 4/4/2014 - 8:49 pm

I think it’s too painful for adults to deal with. They know it is difficult, but feel powerless not to have answers, so instead they minimize and assure you it will improve (which it often does). Most are also preoccupied with their own stressors and can’t be fully present for another.

It’s easy to downplay someone when they appear to be excessively emotional or on the attack. This can be a gift of tolerance, knowing that upset outbursts often don’t reflect a persons true feelings or clearest thoughts. Some adults might regard this as rebellious, but some folks have limits on how much emotional blather they should endure before they are enabling a destructive habit. Also, neurologists know the brain takes until about age 25 before it fully comes on line, and tests have shown that even healthy teens have the emotional stability of schizophrenics.

Yes, in a better world, parents start helping children identify and process their emotions at an early age. They don’t recognize emotions as wrong, and they empathize with where the child is at. But the child is still free to chose its own strategies, even though the consequences splatter all over others, again, and again. Do you see how an adult can become numb and not ring the alarm bell with each days emerging crisis?

Kids can legally be emancipated, and yes, its fucked to have to raise yourself or be around adults who are so needy, the kids have to assume adult responsibilities. There are many family and foster family situations that are far from ideal. Most humans Re doing the best they know how, but we often clash over the different needs and wants we have at different stages of life.

Agony 4/4/2014 - 9:47 pm

People fail being a parent when they don’t remember being a child themselves. Then they can’t understand a child and blame their own disability on the child. They say that the child doesn’t understand them instead without realizing a child doesn’t think like an adult.
It’s like when a child gives you a rock, the adult just sees a dirty piece of stone but the child sees a gift he gave with it’s heart.
Just like their is no such thing as asking for negative attention. Or it is playfull, which the adult would find annoying, or it is a tantrum which is the childs way of expressing themselves when they have not learned another way to yet. It is not asking for angry parents, just attention. To be seen and heard.

Agony 4/4/2014 - 9:49 pm

To be cared for and to be loved.

Diem S. Sky 4/4/2014 - 10:18 pm

I agree. It’s amazing how easily an adult can pass off the emotions and thoughts of a child, with no logical reasoning to justify their neglect.

Who is more courageous then a child that has not been broken by the cruelty of the world? Who can be more genuine?

Courage and genuineness are qualities that are cherished by everyone, and that even something as screwed up as society values highly, and yet they refuse to recognize children, the true bearers of courage and genuineness, as equal to adults.

If that’s not a depressing fact, then I don’t know what is.

tbd 4/5/2014 - 12:16 am

I don’t think parents forget what it is like to be a child. Children can be a mirror for adults, a chance to revisit and process issues from the past. Children can renew a sense of play.

While the lives of both adults and children have value, children are not equals in the sight of the law because they lack real world experience and can benefit from training before having having an equal role in managing adult matters.

Do you not know any extremely narcissistic “only” children? Ever seen how they blame their parents for decades (regardless of the sacrifices made), and can’t take responsibility for their actions, instead justifying their choices with some sort of self-righteous victimhood?

Keep your eyes and ears open. i’ll bet you get a chance to see neurotic anxious kids from well-meaning over indulgent parents. And if they have trust funds, their selective perception and tantrums can run for decades, or until the money runs out; but then there is the hope of self awareness, but by then they’ve lost so much credibility, few can endure their “story”.

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