I know that my life has become pure suffering, all my dreams, all my fears, all the passion and all the devotion are now smashed into shards.However, I started to remember everything with joy and nostalgia … my memories are coming back in flashes : the way I used to sit and stare at a tree; the taste of my favourite ice cream; how funny it was to play with my friends in my childhood…
I’ve lived for so long.17 years.It’s curious to think that there are people who want to live for 100 years, and I’m unhappy enough with 17.It was a life.I’ve seen so many species of flowers and I danced happilly.I laughed and I cried.I felt the ocean.So many parties.So many colors.Met so many people.I’m ok.
I had my time and my piece of cake.I made my choices.It’s so cold out there.I’m leaving.
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“…and my piece of cake.”
…THE CAKE, KIRA. WHERE IS THE CAKE?! WHAT DOES IT MEAN?!
Erm, please excuse my obnoxious rant. I could not help myself. *clears throat*…
Indeed, I feel more than comfortable with the twenty years I’ve spent on this “third rock from the Sun”; I’ve loved and been loved (and am still being loved against my own will); I’ve amassed a small fortune from working my tanned hide off; I’ve served my country and enjoyed everyday of doing so; and I can hold my head high and say: “Life, you’re a *****, but I win”. Now obviously I wouldn’t want you to leave this world anyway, and I wish I could keep you warm from the cold and despair which fills the air. One thing I’m always complimented on is the warmth I give off in many different forms.
However, I’m glad you cherish the time you’ve had here, and hope that the remainder of your time here is somewhat as enjoyable as well. 🙂
P.S. – If I’ve said anything wrong, please don’t bite my head off.
I don’t understand, well, Shephard do you plan to kill yourself?.I’m just asking.If you don’t, then, what are you here (on SP) for?
A little of both. I plan on ‘checking out’ in the not too distant future, but in the meantime wish to share my story and commiserate with other like minded folks along this road of despair. That’s an interesting question you’ve posed to me.
17 years is not very long, but you do sound wise beyond your years. I wouldn’t dare live to 100 either. Happy travels, whether you decide to stay for more cake and ice cream or find out what’s awaiting you on the other side.
Mmmm….. I would certainly miss cake and ice cream.