I have had suicidal ideation since I was 9 or 10. I believe it is largely due to being raised by two people who pretty much daily let me know that I was unwanted and a tremendous burden. I hesitate to suck on a helium tank because I’m told that it would irreparably harm my 13 year-old daughter. I am 50 years old and cannot grasp that I matter that much, never having meant anything to my parents except to be their emotional punching bag. Sometimes my empathy is crippling, but on this point I just don’t get it.
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2 comments
good points
I don’t know if I should really say this, but I feel I would want someone to point this it out to me, because it may make a difference.
You spend most of this post on the way your parents treated you and only vaguely speak of your child. Maybe your life would have more meaning if you thought about that. You can’t change the past, but you can change the future. If having a child isn’t a reason to live, then nothing is…and what is she going to say about when you when she can’t handle her own depression?