Back during my Freshman year of high school (I’m now a junior) I was really close friends with this gay guy in my drama class named Josh. He moved away that same year and we had our struggles keeping in touch, but he started collage last year and completely shut me out and stopped talking to me… It really hurt me because I had feelings for him for a while (yes I knew he was gay). We helped each other through things, he knew what it was like to be suicidal and struggle with self harm so we hit it off right away and became really close. When he stopped talking to me it really hurt. I hadn’t heard from him in over 1.5 years….. Today, I was reading through the letters he used to write me and some of the diary entries I had written about him. I found the giraffe plushy that he had given me for my 15th birthday. Right as that happened, my phone’s notification tone went off. HE FUCKING TEXTED ME!!! After more than a year of ignoring me, shutting me out, I had moved on and simply just missed the friendship (but had accepted the fact that he wasn’t going to talk to me anymore), he has the AUDACITY to text me out of nowhere…..
The text said:
“Hey love, how have you been? I know I’ve been an ass lately and I’m really sorry. I really am. I miss you so much… I miss when we used to talk everyday. I miss sneaking out at night and how you were always there for me. I miss drama class with you. I miss singing with you, hanging out with you, you teaching me about football, going to plays together, and just everything. I know you probably don’t want to talk to me anymore and I understand.. Just wanted to say I found the birthday card you made me. I still have it. I just moved into my own place so I found it in a box labeled ‘important memories/keepsakes’ and I almost started crying when I found it. I miss you so much. I miss us. You were my best friend and I so miss how close we were… I hope you can forgive me… But I understand if you never want to talk to me again. Love you. Miss you.”
WHAT THE HELL???? You go a fucking YEAR without talking to me then text me out of nowhere ??? I don’t know what to do….. I’m just sitting in my room crying.. He brings back so many memories.. I remember making him that birthday card. I gave it to him the last day we saw each other. The day he randomly kissed me goodbye (marking my first kiss) and one of the hardest days of my life. That day I ran to my car crying and when I got home I just went to my room and cried myself to sleep… There are so many memories that come with that boy…. I do miss him, and I just… I don’t know what to do… I mean he’s gay and we were never a couple or anything.. We were a LOT like the show Will & Grace. Not a couple but so close that we acted like it. I do miss him, but I’ve heard apologies before for him ignoring me and not talking to me, and he just hurt me so fucking bad and I don’t know what to do…….
Can someone please help me make a decision of what to do?