Ugh….

It’s nice to have a boyfriend who cares about you, I also have an amazing boyfriend who has been with me through it all. But even having someone with you through it, it doesn’t make it any easier to deal with. Sure it’s better than having no one at all, but sometimes they just don’t understand because, in my case, my boyfriend hasn’t been abused in any way, so its hard for him to really understand. That’s why I found this website. There are people here who understand and have been where you are and that is an amazing feeling to not feel completely alone. But in a way, you still feel like you are. People here get it, but we all have unique situations. No one completely understands your own. But they can and will still help you. You are never all alone. Even though it’s hard, there’s always the possibility of it getting better.
I forgot to hide my wrists from my mother once before, and she threatened to send me to a psych ward too. When she saw them, I was with a lot of family that didn’t even know I was screwed up. She yelled, “Oh my gosh! You’re cutting yourself?!” It was the worst feeling to have your family surround you and have them grabbing your wrists and then telling you that that is so stupid to do to yourself. They don’t understand. But I learned that somewhere, there had to be someone who did. And I found this website. Some people here haven’t been suicidal and try to tell you that suicide is just a permanent solution to a temporary problem. My problems, and probably yours also, won’t ever completely go away, and that is horrible, but we can’t let the ones who hurt us win. That’s all they’ve ever wanted and if we stop trying then we are giving them what they have always wanted. We have to prove them wrong. We have to stand up and look over them and say you can’t hurt me anymore. What you have done has made me stronger, and you will never hurt me again. If you are still living after all the pain, then you already are way stronger then they will ever be. But you have to see that for yourself. You have to know that you’re worth more than you think. Because you are. I still am struggling to realize this, but I’m working on it. Just keep fighting, and eventually, if you don’t give up, you will win.