Alive after Suicide

You could look at your family right now and judge them just by looking at them because no one knows their family better than a outsider. I’m the type of person who doesn’t talk much, but feels a lot. Keeps everything in and listens to others. Having parents who smoke weed and drink alcohol everyday, gives you a different look on things. You mature faster, but don’t make good decisions. I smoke weed and yet my parents tell me not to. They think I don’t know about it but actually I take their weed and call them hypocritical. I’ve cut myself and I’m not proud of it. I’ve been depressed for years but I am terribly afraid to tell my family because I can’t handle having to be yelled at. Call me an idiot but I’ve taken 10 pain killers and took it down with shots of vodka because it sounded fun. People would say your trying to commit suicide but when you put it that way, I chicken out and over think everything. I think of who I’d be leaving behind and what I’d miss in life then don’t do what I think about daily. I watch movies and see them make un-real mistakes because they bounce back and everything’s ok. I wish it was like that but in reality you go through hell if you make it alive after suicide.