I’m new to this so I don’t really know how to start out but I guess I will try my best. All my life I’ve delt with hardships but who hasn’t? My parent were divorced when I was 6, my father was a drunk, my mother was a partier. An when they decided to split it wasn’t peaceful. They didn’t care about us kids they just cared about the money that came with the kids. And this is still going on till this day, I’m almost 22 now. It’s hard going through life knowing money is always more important than your life. And I’ve had my wits end with it. All the people that have helped me through it this far are either dead or dying. Some taken what feels like an easier way than others but I sit an think everyday. What way would be less painless? What way would be quick? I’m just tired of feeling worthless, I’m tired of feeling worse than the day before, I’m tired of feeling my happiness slowly drain away. I just can’t live like this forever. I’ve tried talking to people but I always end up listening more to their problems than my own. I just see no more light… Just a dark tunnel with a tiny sparkle that’s fading…
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3 comments
Though life generally sucks all right, can’t you leave just “that” life, move somewhere else (even –or better perhaps– to another country) and try a new begining since in your case it doesn’t seem to be “the life” that sucks but just your surroundings (your wretched/miserable parents) ?
I realize this will sound like some typical bullshit but if you still see even a twinkle of something worthwhile, hang on to it like your life depends upon it because it very likely does. Think of it like a tiny ember glowing in a small piece of tinder you created after dozens of tries with flint trying to make fire that means the difference between surviving the night or freezing to death, cupped in your hands to keep it going.
Without it, you’ll have nothing. And as much as it feels now like you are there now believe me if you let it go out you’ll feel like your guts have been sucked inside out and you find yourself in a nightmare beyond your wildest imagination. You have a chance to rekindle your fire but the chance won’t last long; when the rope snaps and you free fall toward the abyss…
I hope you can do whatever it takes, and you can – that is all I will say.
I’ve never really thought about it… I’d like to move away but I know I can’t afford it… An even though my parents have put me through hell an back I love them but it feels like a one sided street to me…