Becoming a Statistic

People with a psychotic disorder such as bipolar or schizophrenia are 12 times more likely to commit suicide than the general population. Up to half of people with manic depression (hey that’s me yo) attempt suicide at least once in their lives. 10-15% of manic depressives will end up killing themselves. That’s even more than those with schizophrenia (10%).

I have a pretty severe case of bipolar 1. I’ve had more than thirty episodes of psychosis which ended in forced hospitalizations. I have never attempted though. I don’t want to ever attempt (who does?). If I am to go this route |I want to be successful first time around.

We psychotics don’t tend to live as long as the general population anyway (by an average of ten years). But I am relatively healthy, apart from being obese. I eat lots of fruit and veg. I look after myself pretty well, though am so fatigued a lot of the time from the meds that it’s hard to get the exercise I need. Still I walk pretty much every day by an effort of will.

So if I don’t hot foot it out of here with my stash of N I could live for decades yet. I haven’t mastered the art of total self-neglect or self-destruction (getting there though).

Serious mental illness has a habit of aging you before your time… I simply don’t see myself old like my healthy, lively mother at 82. That won’t be happening for me. She’s mentally sharper than I am and has frankly, loads more going for her. Loneliness alone is killing me physically and mentally, but wow, it’s a slow killer.

Just ruminating really, thought I’d share that with you.