Hand me down the noose.

I’ll be moving in two weeks. I’ll be moving miles away from the place I only knew as home, my friends, my boyfriend, my family. We have to move though, and I know I can’t do anything to stop that. All of the “friends” I told didn’t care, they responded with texts like “Oh.” “That sucks,”. I don’t need someone crying for me, but it’d be nice to know someone cared. We’re moving to my moms’ boyfriends house.  He’s a real asshole and I have a hard time making friends. This new state and school will take alot out of me, and i’m afraid. I want to dissappear into thin air, and not have to worry anymore. Compared to my siblings, i’m the most problematic and I am treated as such. It’s been years since my mom bought me school clothes, or supplies. I get them from the stuff my sisters throw away. Hand me downs cannot even describe my wardrobe. My school supplies are ratted and tatted, and I know how bad I look. I get made fun of a lot, and it just adds on to the mentality that I’m not good enough. I don’t know why my own family dislikes me so much. I just want to feel beautiful. I want to feel like someone. I want to feel confident, in clothes that actually fit and don’t have millions of holes. I don’t want to be called a four eyed grudge anymore, because my glasses are thick and my mom never wants to get my hair cut. I want to feel beautiful. When I talk to my siblings or my mom about giving me a makeover or something they laugh and tell me there isn’t enough money in the world to make me less ugly. I believe them. This year will be hell. Sorry for complaining to you all.