I am 37 and have 2 kids who could easily live without me, a dead end job that barely pays enough to keep the utilities on and gas in the car, no friends, no life outside of work. I spend most of my time staring, reading, or playing whatever game my mouse happens to click on the computer. I am chronically I’ll with an undiagnosed ailment which is most likely going to kill me even if I don’t . I don’t drink or use drugs or terrorize my kids. Growing up and in highschool and the years shortly following, being with someone was at the top of the priority list but frankly my ex has ruined any possibility of that ever being an issue again. As one gets older and comes to more fully understand themselves they realize more and more things that cannot be simply overcome if a relationship is to survive. Some things can be reconciled and accepted while others can not. I am a pretty “different” individual and there is no one in this world for me and I accept that. I can’t remember the last person I spoke to that I didn’t want to choke and I must obviously let that show outwardly because I get the sense people feel the same about me. That being said I have been much more concerned with professional advancement since splitting with my ex and well, I’m learning that I don’t have the skills to be anything but a slave at whatever company I sell the hours of my life to. Going back to college at 37 seems daunting and in the end there is no way of knowing if it would even make a difference. If I started now my kids would be adults by time I was done. So here is my question. Seeing as how I have outlived my usefulness and there is no one in this world who would even notice my absence and there is frankly zero future, for what reason should I or anyone like me continue to exist?