Can I convince myself that I’m fine? For a while I’ve been relatively ok. Not majorly depressed, and not happy….just existing.
My kitty had a seizure this evening, and my mother got bit real bad (cat is diabetic and her sugar dropped to practically nothing). I’ve had this cat since I was 3. So she’s 17 now. It was awful….I’m going to lose my buddy in a few months. I have no choice. But death is a part of life.
Tonight’s stress seems to have made me relapse. I don’t want to cut again, but I feel like I have to simply because I haven’t for almost 2 weeks. And my legs and stomach are healing nicely….wouldn’t want to ruin that now, would I?
Damn. And I thought the meds were starting to help.
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The meds take a while to reach a stable “working level”, and with my awful sense of time i couldn’t really tell, but i think you started on them a month ago? give them time. As you know you’ll likely need several adjustments of doses and maybe other drugs along the way (it’s a never ending search until something works for you).
Just try not to cut. If you realize yourself that you are healing nicely and that it’s just a relapse, do your best to endure it. It’s normal to have relapses under pressure and it’s just bound to continue happening over time… i had an awful one on friday due to thinking i was already “better” (silly me) and trying to restart with responsabilities (studying again). 15 minutes over the phone asking for courses information, 5 minutes of thinking of dealing with people again on a daily basis and bam, 2 days of relapse. But it goes away if you endure it, even if it’s not easy.
As for your kitty just try to love him for the time he has left. That’s the bad thing with animals, wish they would live as long as a person. You could always give a new home to another kitty who needs it.
Thanks for your input. I totally agree with you, and I started Prozac a few weeks ago, so I know it won’t be taking full affect right away. I need to learn to be patient with myself. I keep wanting me to feel better overnight, but I know that won’t happen.
I quit school after I got out if the hospital. I don’t know if I’ll go back. I applaud you for taking that step.
Yeah, we have seven cats. With two of them being 17, we don’t know how much longer they have. We just got the two kittens a few days ago. Our old ones lived good, full, happy lives. I hope I can too. I’ve always wished I was a cat.
Actually i just dipped in my toes in the water and then backed out because it was still too cold, lol. Maybe one day i’ll be able to deal with people again but as it stands today i can only take short bursts of being around them, and it’s pretty obvious to others. Studying psychology if you can even look people in the eye without having anxiety is an impossible task for me (at least ftm), and well, i do think it was a good step quitting school in order to get better (if it affected you too much).
Seven? that’s a lot, i imagine they must create a war-like environment for you haha. Wish i could have even one here, i always remember the “maybe in another life when we are both cats” line from vanilla sky when i see one, lol.
Haha, having 7 cats is like having our own mini zoo. They’re good cats, really sweet and playful (except the old ones).
Yeah I know what you mean about having anxiety around people. Just thinking about doing something that requires socializing scares me. I don’t even have the guts to apply for another job at the moment. I want to work, and I want to be 100% independent, I’m just such a coward -.- I’ve even thought about joining the Air Force or Navy in order to shape myself up…but chances are they won’t take me due to my extensive background in depression. Ah well.
I had nine cats from 1998 until just a couple years ago when they finally started passing from old age. I obviously had to put them to sleep as it was the humane thing to do but i kept not replacing them through the years but adopting more. All spayed and neutered and all indoors. It was so expensive and truly exhausting cuz i have ocd as well as some otger stuff going on. Anyways i now have three. Ages six, four and two. And btw all are adopted from the shelters ir the street. And i lived in eight states and they all traveked with me. So crazy ass cat kady? Me not you. Probably.
Wow nine cats? That had to have been a handful. I know we had said before “after this batch that’s it” but here we are with more kitties.
It’s very difficult watching your pets pass while dealing with other mental issues. I know last night really shook me up and now I’m feeling the crushing weight of depression again.
Crazy cat ladies lol. That’s totally me
Typos sorry. It’s standard for me
l think you only qualify for the crazy cat ladies club when you are over 40 and you have more than 15 cats, or said cats force you to live outside (either that or they are so much that they own their own rooms in your house, lol). I had a friend who had 24+ cats in his house (big house tho) because his mom kept adopting them over time… they chew his computer cables, and had 234t34tv4v incidents (cat jumping on keyboard) pretty often.
Lol! 24 cats, I’d move out.
Yes…keyboard incidents happen too much to me.