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loss

by khajiit

Today I lost one of my best friends, not through death but permanent deviation from each other. It pains me incredibly to let go of someone that has impacted me so significantly and who i felt so passionate and vehement about, but alas, our differences and the disparity between our self control prevents us from ever atoning for the damage we have inflicted on one another. I am going to miss our connection and intimate bond we shared, i’m going to miss spending time with them and joking around and just experiencing life in their company. I have never experienced a bond like this before and I’m doubtful I could find one near as identical, but perhaps not necessarily that i couldn’t find one just as good. The absence of a person you so frequently shared time with and trusted leaves me feeling chronically empty, although the reasons for our departure will perpetually justify our doing so. I don’t know what to do with myself, but I suppose I’ll get over it. For me particularly it’s very hard to let go of things let alone people and especially ones you have shared such an incredible relationship with. It takes time and forgiveness and I think i’ll be able to move on as I have done with every other relationship I have diverged from, but right now and for the next few days or weeks or months I’ll be feeling this deep depravity and grief that comes with loss. I can’t help but express and vent about my grief and sadness, and especially the heart break of the thought of what enacted our separation. Oh well, oh well

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