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My story

by katelyn3662

Hi. My name is Katelyn Hill. I’m now 16 years old and attending high school in York region.

 

Id like to share my Suicide story with you,

Since I was little my dad was abusive (Verbally, Physically and emotionally)he was/is a alcoholic and a drug user. when I was growing up he lost his job. and he was home all the time. my mom was scared to come home most of the time so it was just me and him at home often. in 2010 me and him got into a large fight and no one else was home. about 40 minutes later i heard him yelling my name and just felt like something was wrong so i went down the the basement. the first thing i saw was on the pool table around 10 empty bottles of pills and my dad was lying on the couch trying to tell me he was going to die. trying to tell me that he took a bunch of pills trying to overdose because of me. I just sat beside him i couldn’t move to get the phone to call 9-1-1 i sat there and screamed. as he was dosing off my mom and brother came in and when she heard me screaming she instantly ran down stairs and yelled to my brother to get me out of there. she called 9-1-1 for me. and he friend to come sit with me and my grandparents for me to stay with. and they rushed him to the hospital. H e survived.

 

before that i had been cutting since i was in grade 5 (2008) because of the abuse.

May 26th 2012. was the day i officially attempted suicide. it was a okay day. i just got sick of everything. my mom was out and my brother and his girlfriend were up stairs . it again was just me and my dad at home. he  asked me if i wanted to have French fries with him for dinner i said yes but i was going for a walk first. i don’t even know what triggered it. but i walked into the garage and grabbed a rope and shoved it in my track pants and walked away. i texted my best friend Ryan and told him what i was going to do.

 

i tied a double nuce around my next. and texted both my mom dad and brother that i loved them and that i am sorry. i tied the rope around the tree which took a little while and took some deep breaths, finally after about ten minutes i jumped. i was lucky my dad and brother felt there was something wrong with hat text and the instantly came searching. my family friend Mike Manning and Peyton were at the bridge maybe a minute away and they told my dad that they saw a blonde girl in the forest but wasn’t sure what she was doing. they found me 7 seconds before i was gone. i don’t remember anything just what my brother my dad and my brothers girlfriend told me. i was hospitalized for a long time.

 

I now admit i have a problem with drinking and drug use. I am scared head to toe. even scars on my face from cutting so deep.. I don’t know how to deal with the judgement. but i’m still alive.. that’s what matters right.

 

i’ve been with current boyfriend for 6 months and he has helped me…

 

I owe my life to My dad, brother, tori, Cody, mike, peyton and Ryan <3 i love you guys thank you

 

this is my story..

i’m still fighting this battle everyday weather people realize or not

 

 

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5 comments

seppuku 7/13/2014 - 10:17 pm

Yes, Katelyn, it’s an ongoing struggle I know, that’s a lot to go through so young. Thanks for sharing your story and I am glad your bf is helping you. One day at a time and all that.

Frightened Eyes 7/14/2014 - 1:09 am

I struggle with the sudden, sometimes unexplained suicide urges. They are quite intense and I feel as though I have no control. Though I am an adult, sometimes I hide in a corner until they pass.

I come from a violent family, too. Though I got away, it still haunts me every day. I am glad you are okay and were found.

I also struggle with drug and alcohol abuse as well. I go in for treatment tomorrow.

katelyn3662 7/14/2014 - 11:55 am

the thing is alcoholism runs in my family same with drug abuse. but its not like i’m doing hard core drugs and my mom freaks out like i’m doing cocaine or something witch isn’t fair. my mom has now recently gotten away from my dad (December 2 nd 2013). Yes i smoke weed my doctor is very well aware of it. its what puts me to sleep and helps me stay calm.
Just wish everything was easier

katelyn3662 7/14/2014 - 11:59 am

then every time my mom talks to my dad about doctors appointments he freaks out and says there is absolutely nothing wrong with me. that i’m just a kid and my life was perfect and refuses me on medication other than drinking and drugs.

my brother has ashbrgers ( or however you spell it) and my dad refuses to admit that took him off his medication at a young age. my brother now 21 has very bad anger problems and never graduated high school, and still doesn’t have a job.

i thought everything would be a lot easier when we moved but it seems as if it really hasn’t changed other than some abuse.

leo 7/14/2014 - 2:06 pm

All things will be allright … just be okey…. with time everything will change …. only the good time will be in ur life ….

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