I don’t know why I continue living this pointless existence. I’m an idiot, nobody gives a shit about me if anything they hate me, and things will never change. I went through all of my previous facebook posts and conversations and I feel like everything I’ve said is just so fucking stupid and judging my the number of likes (1-4 max) everyone else feels the same way. This is the 3rd or 4th time I’ve been seriously suicidal and now I don’t see the point of taking medication to hide my idiocy from myself, I’m never going to have a worthwhile life. It’s only fear and cowardice keeping me here. How can I bring myself to suicide?
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9 comments
fuck society why do they treat you so bad? You are not stupid or the other things you say. Oh and screw facebook, i dont use it much anymore, but i get ignored or blocked on there… Sorry for not giving a useful reply… I wish you would keep going and stay, when people treat you like this every day it has a compounding effect and it may lead to the person getting it to believe that they are dumb, stupid, etc, when they are not dumb and/or stupid. I am sorry society has treated you this way, i really am. From what you post on SP you seem really nice..
@ Sadgiraffe You really have helped despite feeling as low as you do right now, which is another testiment of how much of a good person you are. They hate me because I’m not a person of value but it’s not my fault and it kills me inside because I can’t do anything about it. Blind hate and exclusion will never solve anything, it’s just made me agoraphobic and too afraid to talk to people I don’ trust. Thanks for your comment, I hope to hear more from you 🙂 x
1. You’re not an idiot, otherwise you wouldn’t have had the ability to write this post.
2. Who cares about what other people think of you? People only judge others on very superficial terms.
3. Facebook is a website designed for people who never matured past their high school days. It’s little more than shameless self-promotion (“Oh please everyone look at how awesome me and my life are!”) and a popularity contest. I mean come on, who in real life has multiple hundreds of “friends.”
4. You’re not worthless. You just need to find a more meaningful and fulfilling life for yourself.
ha, I’m with you, I used to (and still subconsciously do) quantify my social value (which correlates with objective value) and likability by how many people “acknowledged” my presence on social media sites. It really does hurt when something you post or upload is only “acknowledged” or “appreciated [‘liked’]” by a meager quantity of people. Most likely though I don’t think it’s your inherent value that repels people from “liking” any of your posts, but rather the ice between you and other because you may not be as familiar or intimate with them that would comfortably give them an incentive to “like” your post. It’s not your fault, it’s just the measurement of how much you have extended yourself out to others, which in the case of being depressed is usually very limited. If you want people to “pay attention” to you more on places like FB, talk to them, maybe “like” a few of their posts/pictures and they’ll reciprocate 🙂 hell, friend me and I’ll totally like all your photos and posts and comment on ’em 😉
Hey 5sos! I’ve been worrying about you, i’m glad to see you posting again 🙂 i think you’re right that the distance I place between myself and others has a significant impact on my social life but i’m afraid to let my guard down in case i’m attacked, it’d be like turning off a firewall and exposed to everything. I’ll take your advice though and reach out to see if anyone reciprocates. If anyone wants to add me my facebook is: https://www.facebook.com/phoenixica . The way you look won’t bother me but I’m obviously going to be afraid of what you think of me too ^^ I care about you too and glad to see you back.
I friended ya, ha, yeah i completely know what you mean, i dont remember how much of my identity i’ve shared over the years on SP, but now I’d like to remain rather anonymous if possible, I’ll make an exception because i like you 🙂
naw, i’m a lil’ ugly and i’d give you negative 10 cool points, but seriously, talk to people 😀
Personally, I think you’re a very cool person that has much to offer the world if you wanted to utilize your aptitudes and elaborate your interests etc. if you have any. I think you have all the characteristics that would draw people towards you if only you projected yourself outward so people could notice it, and if you wanted others to notice it if course. I give a shit about you! Two shits!
I certainly think life is a “pointless existence” at times. And Facebook can really screw us up if we see Facebook as the world. I stop notifications on many, many people as they do my head in. I keep the ones who make me laugh and who are caring – In turn I try to do the same. I can relate to putting up a wall – that is what protects me also – but it means I miss out on things. I was in a bad way last week and some kind people wrote some helpful things for me. I try to spend time with meaningful people – if I am with people who gossip and put others down it does my head in. Hope you can stay connected with the world in a meaningful way.