I guess I’m a walking irony, I have severe depression and social anxiety and you know what it was cause because I helped people and took on there problems but didn’t have anybody to talk to about my own. You know what’s even worse when I joined this site, I got locked out because I kept checking my page so much to see if anybody had bothered replying to me and I felt even more alone because of that, like even the website put there for people like me doesn’t want me. I’m that much of a screw oh that this site hates me too. I’m don’t do things for attention, I do things so nobody sees me, I hate when people cut and then show everyone it’s not something you show others it’s a personal reminder that life has kicked the shit out of you and been so hard and you managed to get out of it with only a few cuts. I’m a the most pessimistic optimist ever, I am positive my life will get better but for now it is so shitty. Thankyou to anyone who gives enough fucks to actually read this and reply.
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Black rose, I hope your life does get better. I really wish you the best, you sound like a good person. Don’t be worried about the website screwing up, it does that to many people. I have cuts but I wear long sleeves even in summer so nobody sees them. I’ve had those scars for 13 years now. Social anxiety is such a heavy stone to carry, it makes you feel more alone in this world when all you want is to be loved.
I believe I was put on this earth to help people and I have been doing that, I have stopped about 4 people from killing themselves and I’m only 14 years old. It hurts me so much when I try so hard for others and get nothing back, for example the other night me and my friends went to a fair and one of them she popped her knee cap out and went to hospital and me and my other friend were left standing there alone waiting for our parents to come pick us up when a group of black girls came behind us and started beating us, we did nothing wrong, I live to help and I was attacked. Life just exists to screw me over and it’s fine I’m fine with it, but the urge to cut is still there and each day it gets harder to resist
Here’s hoping that things will get better for you. You sound like a good person who deserves to have some things go their way. I hope they do for you, soon.
I swear you two make up my fan base and I am so happy you comment on my posts.
And don’t worry about whether people post on you posts here. Many of the people here are a bit self-absorbed, sometimes, and they usually post here only for attention. Don’t fault them for that, though…they just want someone to care. Help yourself by helping some of them, when you see the right opportunity.
I can relate with, “I helped people and took on there problems but didn’t have anybody to talk to about my own.” When I was much younger, this seemed to be true. I didn’t have social anxiety and was considerably outgoing. I was always nice to everyone, and eventually, they all just moved on (both literally and figuratively). I tried connecting with new people, but it proved much too difficult. They would often tease me, and I had no one to talk to, so I became more introverted and anxious. I honestly don’t think that this behaviour is irrational, but my therapist might disagree.
When I was young, even I assumed I was depressed because I always felt sad, I have always judged myself and it is really the thing that made me an introvert, I don’t trust anyone anyone I find it really hard to trust and be comfortable with people. I stay in my room all day because I’m not comfortable around my parents and I because I don’t feel comfortable with people or talk to them I felt really alone when bad things happened in my life, and hey presto depression
I can assure you that nobody hates you. Most people are just selfish and don’t really care about other people unless they are getting something out of them. With that being said, there are also some really great selfless people out there who are willing to listen to you and help you with your problems. They’re just a little harder to come by. I recommend seeing a therapist for now.
You’re only 14 years old and you’ve already helped stop 4 people from killing themselves. That is amazing. Don’t let stupid people stop you from fulfilling your purpose in life.
I am seeing a counsellor from youth focus but she makes me feel like shit, she doesn’t give me anytime to talk and when she offends me and I close up and stop talking she tells me off, she has yelled at me before and told me it’s my fault I’m depressed. So I decided I’m not going to see her anymore, because she makes me feel worse then I did bedore
Beating you up for no reason? That’s just awful. Anyway, I only discovered this site yesterday, and would like you to know that I give a f*ck cause we are the only folks who can understand each other (to some extent, regarding the depressed feeling and being alone) and therefore help each other even in a little way. I think if you still can, keep helping people, there’s nothing wrong with saving up good karma. It may come back in a big way someday, hopefully.
Black rose it’s so hard to trust people because these days people are so self centered.. I’m sorry you’re going through such a rough time and I can’t believe people would beat up on you for no reason.. It really is a cruel world which is why I too try to lend a helping hand when I can and listen.. As for the cutting thing I get that too.. I started at the age of 15 and no one ever knew…. I hope coming here can help you vent and I hope that you can find some sort of happiness or maybe just feel a little better…
I am not even 15, I don’t cut because I promised my boyfriend I wouldn’t. Thankyou for your help it feels so much better to have someone to talk to, I just feel that this site is wasted on someone like me with stupid wimpy problems.
You’re problems aren’t stupid.
A friend and I were emailing back and forth and part of the conversation was about how selfish people are. Here is an excerpt from that email I replied back to my friend. I hope it helps you feel better about helping people.
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Yes, there are a lot of selfish people out there. I seem to be surrounded by them sometimes. I wish people would treat each other more altruistically, without expecting things in return. Sometimes the reward is just knowing you made somebody else’s life better and that’s what you get back – that good feeling. It doesn’t have to be something material. Gestures of kindness can be as simple as holding the door for someone or saying thank you. There are all kinds of opportunities everyday to make other people’s lives a little better and most people just pass them by because it requires effort on their part and they get “nothing” in return. If more people were considerate of one another, the world would be a much better place. For now I will continue to hold the door and say thank you – and hope that maybe someday the “hurricane triggered my butterfly wings” adage proves true and more people do it too.
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Don’t stop being you.
Thankyou