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Dark and cold

by HereticBlood

I’m not so sure I understand much anymore…. All I know is I feel like it can’t get much colder than this… Can’t sleep, can’t eat, and I’m wondering how I’m even able to breathe… Someone please please tell me how to get out of this hell I’m in… Or maybe just how to stop the flashbacks?….anything…anyone :'(

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shadowmask 8/31/2014 - 12:51 am

What happened? flashbacks of what

DarkestRaven 8/31/2014 - 1:01 am

Abuse
Sexual abuse
The passing of my son
It’s just too much

shadowmask 8/31/2014 - 1:42 am

Youve come this far now finish your fight. Go get happiness because you deserve it. Youre a good person and you should take that into account.

DarkestRaven 8/31/2014 - 2:33 am

thanks I hope you’re right and I hope I can find something… I’ve never been anywhere to talk to anyone about it.. I have a good friend who know about my self harm issues and he used to help me a lot since my husband is deployed but I’m not allowed to see him anymore.. He said he think I need to be on meds to control my anger, moods, and flashbacks but I’m so afraid of having a drug control me.. Not like drug as in heroin or something just saying I’m afraid of leaving my self harm behind in place of something that might not work… Idk I’m sorry

copelessness 8/31/2014 - 2:46 am

You don’t have to be sorry. Hopefully talking here helps since you’ve wandered over to our little island of misfits. Unfortunately I don’t have much to offer other than my sympathies for all you have gone through. Others have said those words much better than I ever could. Hopefully your husband comes around and realizes he has to be more supportive. I think that would help you out a lot.
Know that you are welcome here though. Despite the unfortunate events a little bit ago, we are a nice bunch of people and I’ve found great solace here. Will it deter me? I don’t know. But the people here have certainly made life easier just by having them to talk to. I hope they make life easier for you too.
Take care.

DarkestRaven 8/31/2014 - 2:53 am

Thanks copelessness that was very sweet and kind! I know everyone had issues and I always try not to be hateful towards ppl because I know how it feels to be judged and looked down upon.. I can say I was a little hurt and wanted to leave the site (as I just joined today) and then all that happened but I’m open to It all I know the outs and ends of the site I know we all have different issues some worse then others and I’m not going to hold words against someone I don’t know.. I only hate one person and there’s definetely good reasons for that.. I’m glad you’re so kind…. It makes me have a little faith in humanity

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