Ok first off, yes I’m fat. But being told from a guy that your fat, useless and ugly really hurts. I’ve been called down all my life by my mom and other family member, people at school . There’s not a lot I can take in life. I’m very self conscious. I think about my image all the time. I’ve never felt like this until I started getting called down. I never thought I was ‘fat’ I knew I had a little more weight then skinny people, but I’m not extremely fat. I just have a little extra meat. Now I think if myself as extremely over weight, I’m 5’6 and weight 135 . I can’t even look at myself in the mirror. I feel completely useless. I have no one to talk to. I rather just eat maybe one meal a day. I’m desperate to loose weight. I’m tired of feeling low on self esteem. Honestly if there was a way out of the world right now, I wouldn’t have any second thoughts. I have thought of committing suicide but I just cant bring my self to do It. No I’m not looking for attention I swear , I just wanted to let it all out. When I would go out with my friends to the mall they would try things on and everything looks perfect on them and at that moment I realize how odd I am. I feel so useless , ugly, stupid. Why are people in this society so cruel? don’t they know everyone has feelings? , I guess not. In front of friends and family and the entire society I put on a act that everything is fine. when someone makes fun of me I just laugh it off in front of them. But inside it hurts. I swear it breaks me apart. I feel like I’m breaking inside slowly. Its not my fault god gave me such a shitty metabolism. Its not my fault.