Sitting in the dark. Looking up suicide on Google. It brought me to this site…
I read the pain of your words, and relate. My heart hurts with you, and hurts like you. I see your pain. I see the desperation. I see I’m not alone.
You feel it too… That bottle of pills singing it’s Siren song, that sharp blade flashing like a knight in shining armor, that seductive rope calling your name to lovingly squeeze you into darkness. They seduce me into a trance of thinking if only I could do it.
I am so desperate to not hurt any longer. I try. I really do. I look online for things like “why I shouldn’t kill myself.” I’ve been in counseling for years. I have been to the hospital. I am on more pills than I wish to admit.
Alas, here I am. Sitting in the dark, daydreaming about death. But, I read your words. Like they were taken from my soul. I’m not alone. If only for this moment, I know you feel it too.