Hi there, my name is Sami Jo. I remember being 13, and it was the best year of my life. After that, I fell into a dark place and thought there was no way out. I decided at 15 that it just wasn’t going to get any better. Over the next 5 years, I tried to kill myself 5 different times and somehow someone or something stopped me every single time from succeeding. I’m 21 now and I still have days where I am angry for ever being born into this world. But, every now and then I’ll have days like today where I think that maybe I know why I’m not supposed to die yet. I meet other kids like me, like you, like us and realize I’m not as alone as I thought I was. Maybe I’m just supposed to live to find you. Maybe you’re just supposed to live to find me and make me feel better knowing I’m not the only one who has suffered so young for so long. I know it is hardly possible to believe right now, but there’s more life left to go, friend. I know that because I once was your age and in the same place. Besides, just by the simple fact that you came here shows me you have some doubt about it and I want to be your friend through this. Your battle buddy. I wish I would’ve had one all along, so I bet you do too, and now you have one. Her name is Sam and she loves you. Now, if you still decide to go today, I’d understand, since I know how hard it is to keep fighting. But if you do go, I will never get to meet you, see you smile, make you laugh, or see your posts again, and I will question my purpose here again. I need you, pal. Please don’t go. It’s okay for life to not be okay. It’s okay to be a little messed up. Just please don’t go. You deserve better than to give up so soon. Trust me. I’m here just for you.
Love forever and always-
Sam <3
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8 comments
It’s not okay for life to not be okay… why do you say otherwise? It’s not okay to be messed up… it’s unacceptable. Everyone hates that, it makes them afraid… and it makes me afraid too.
That’s where you’re wrong, I don’t hate it. I’m not afraid of my sickness or to be messed up. So, even if I am just one person, there’s evidence right there that not EVERYONE hates it. In fact, I love being different, it brought me here to you guys reading this. You have no reason to be afraid of how you feel and who you are. People will love you regardless. Life won’t ever go just as perfectly planned. That’s supposed to be okay, so why can’t being not okay be okay every once in awhile too?
Sad to see the young ones thinking of dying,,,,, they still have a chance, one that they should hang in there for, so I applaud you for your post.
Everyone who knows me knows I am planning to end it, come that right time, that time when I am confident I truly have done all I could to be happier.. and failed.
So I don’t get much resistance,,,, because those who know me know I am not meant for this world., and at 48, and the kind of future I have to look forward to as it is now…… I will not stay for it.
I am at peace with dying, I can go right now and be happy, and actually welcome it.
So, your post does not apply to everyone. Some of us have already done ‘too much”, and those who really care will let me go when it is time.
I would like to hope that too Squid…that the people around me will accept it and let me go. Is there ever a decent age at which it’s OK to suicide? Robin W was 63 and he still got flak for being ‘selfish’ etc. The world will always find some reason to hate you, alive or dead it seems. I’m 4 years older than you Squid, and I’ve lived long enough to know this is right for me. But (like you I believe) my mum gives me pause. How can I destroy what remains of her life? (Rhetorical and boring question). Anyway, just a shout out to you as a fellow middle-aged person!
OP, good for you for reaching out to other young ‘uns.
Hello, nice to see you here… Thanks for making this post. Please stay strong Sam <3
Thank you. I appreciate it. <3
@ pinkcoconut What’s your agenda here? Do you have any idea what it is like to be in excruciating psychological pain? It is not okay to be messed up? You have no idea.
It’s more than ok to be messed up….though I don’t care for how it’s being said. I’m not messed up, just in a messed up world lol. One persons normal is another persons crazy and vice versa. And it doesn’t make either one right or better than the other. And it doesn’t mean ether is messed up. And Its acceptable to me. Everyone as a person is acceptable to me. Certain actions may not be, that’s a different topic, but those people still are.