my life is crap. it will always be. i have bipolar disorder. i will always have it. why should i keep going? im not even sad right now, im just being honest. I have two people who im living for, my gf and my son. I cant provide for them because of my issues right now, plus horrible economy. im poor, and black. i have health problems. i couldnt find love if my gf left me, which she might. I have 1 other friend. I live with my folks, and my family is sick just like me. Im thinking of killing myself, and writing a nice letter explaining why i made this decision. i post here often, but im really thinking about it. I mean, really, why shouldnt i end it before it gets too rough. I am a christian, and i believe i will still go to heaven. I dont have the means to do it yet, but i can get it. I do NOT want to die, i want to live a great, wonderful and fulfuilling life. I dont think it wil happen. i think i have a life of extreme pain and misery to deal with. So, i ask why should i continue? I bet noone can find ONE good reason. And that is my point. My time in this life may just be concluded. Its not so bad, i mean, i had good times. Im deciding.