I’m scared. Everything in my life is spiraling out of control.
I’m a failure. My family and friends are trying to support me, but all I can feel is their pity. And I hate it. I hate it so much. I just want to get away from everyone, and away from reality. I want to get drunk. Like so drunk that I don’t even know what’s happening, and just stay that way. And not have any worries.
I want to scream, and cry, and fucking hit something. I feel so angry and mad and.. I just don’t think I’m cut out for life. I paint a smile on my face everyday and people think I’m always happy and okay and problem-free and.. and I’m not. I am a train wreck inside. And I’m the only one that can feel it, or that even knows the train has crashed. It’s crashed and burned.
Just fuck this world. And fuck everyone. I want to go asleep and never wake up.
I just can’t handle this anymore.
2 comments
why dont you leave home and live on the streets as a hobo. You wont have to be face to face with your family and you can panhandle for a big jug of cheap wine and stay drunk most of the time. if you do you should move to someplace warm so you dont have to deal wih snow or cold nd buy a cheap rain jacket so when it rains you can stay dry.
if you do it I also suggest occasionally buying a lotto ticket and hope to high God you win someday.
Please, stay strong. It doesn’t get easier easily, you have to work for it. I know its hard, but please hang on and find someway to help yourself that doesn’t involve anything self-destructive or dangerous.