in the end

I have had it with everything.
for all im concerned I have had a pretty good upbringing.
although my mother liked to drink a lot and party and take drugs, she looked after me and my siblings well, that’s what I thought.
everyone els wanted to take me and my brothers and sisters away from her. they got there wish.
and she just started picking herself up and I was going to live with her again.. the only person I trusted, loved, felt safe around… she died a year ago..
since then I have been picked on and bullied.. I have tried suicide a fue times before.. I cut.. a lot.
I still wanted to live on and keep my promise to her ‘look after my siblings’ ..
I tried.. I really did.. but its boring now.. I never leave my room, im practically nocturnal.. I want an interesting life.. I hate normal.. anime and music took my mind off it for a while.. but im slowly reaching my braking point.. depression anxiety.. I hate it all.
worse of all people don’t take me seriously because im 13.. I don’t blame them..
this world is truly annoying..