Its not like Im some teenage girl going through tough times. iam a 20 year old adult who wants to be free, i dont care what it takes, i dont even care anymore about anything, i’ll be doing it for myself and only myself to free myself from this world, because this world is black, and i have seen colors, i have enjoyed here but not anymore, im not sad, i know this is the right thing to do and i will be getting hold of a gun soon, guns are fast, and they suit my personality.
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Isn’t it worth trying to find the colors once more? Isn’t it worth trying…if you can enjoy life once more? Isn’t it worth trying to live if Theres a chance the darkness will fade and you can find those things once more?
This cruel world we live in can maybe be a place where you can find the things you’ve lost. Just a thought.
I dont wanna.. I m tired. I dont want to find anything. Im at the end.
Please tell me more about yourself
Like? Iam a girl who always had dark thoughts in her head. I have been through a lot bullying abuse of every kind insults… im questioning my life.. im feeling not depressed but wish to be free like.. a bird. Dont need no friends. Im alone my whole life has been lonely. I have extreme paranoia which makes me act like crazy and it is ruining my life. I doubt everything. I dearly hate this world so much..this world has given me every kind of pain. Im now seeking peace and that peace will only come the day I take my own life
Why does one such as yourself beed to end it so soon?
I dont know. Im getting better but wish to die.. just be gone. Just… forever. Never come back here ever again. Who cares what happens to my family. I will have to be selfish
Need*
Guns will do the trick, but the right gun is important. A misused .22 handgun will only injure you. What about also considering the time, place, environment, suicide note and making sure it’s not about revenge or getting even or hurting someone else, but it’s only about you making a decision. You said you’ve seen colors! What does that mean? The world is black, but you’ve seen colors. That’s a pretty impressive statement. To be able to see through the blackness to the colors is something many many people are trying to attain. Interesting. You’ve given me hope Deargirlnotfound.
Hey, Randall. Do you mind speaking briefly about guns?
I don’t know a thing about guns. Only what I’ve seen in movies. I think of Dirty Harry (Clint Eastwood) saying, “57 Magnum, most powerful hanfd gun in the world. Blow your head clean off. So ya gotta ask yourself, do I feel lucky? Well, do ya punk?” You’d probably have to ask Shepard. He’s all military and such???
That is a mortal sin! Harry Callahan used a Smith n’ Wesson M29 .44 magnum! But that’s okay, haha. My personal favourite is Rick’s piece – the elegant and timeless Colt Python .357 magnum… A full length underlung and a cylinder lock akin to…a climax of sorts.
OK, Randall. I mistook your earlier statement, “Guns will do the trick, but the right gun is important” to be an allusion to expertise.
.22 is nothing. You score a .44 magnum like me? Hoo-ah, that thing would put a crater in your head. 5.56 Mk. 262 rounds have that extra kick in ’em at range, not sure about close-up. 12 gauge solids are choice too.
Then again, most civilians don’t get the difference between hydraulic and circuitry shots, so it’s a waste of time explaining it when they don’t want to culture some understanding of firearms in general.
Moving targets were my favourite, CQB was even better (except having your head stood on while you iron-chaired as a makeshift ladder). I could never shoot myself though, I respect the weapon too much.
Have a chemical cocktail like me; ’tis all the rave these days.
I take my chemical cocktail every day. Tis definitely all the rave. For now I can just do what I do and eventually I’m sure to get a bad batch or overdose. Just playin the odds now.
I’ve never shot a gun before. I’d like to go to a shooting range sometime, but I’m afraid I’ll look like a moron for not knowing anything about guns…
I’m not trying to change your mind, but thanks.
I was just listening to my tunes when I reached a song I liked, always stirs some feelings in me. I’ve been depressed for quite a while but only just reached the bottom.
This is a link to my post on here:
http://suicideproject.org/2014/08/id-love-to-die-but-im-too-cowardly-to-go-through-it/
The thing is I hate being average, wish I was important. and I don’t mean like to family or friends, I wanted my life to have deep meaning.
The song mixed with my thoughts and when I read how you wanted to just disappear and I my instinct to survive and make something of myself reappeared.
what would killing myself do? whether or not there is an afterlife my self worth would still be the same. I value self worth, I think life just isn’t worth I mean nothing to anything or anyone dead or alive.
I’ll go to school this September, and even if I do humiliate myself a little bit I Will graduate with honors and be the best…or else what am I?
Even if all my talk about self worth and purpose didn’t help you, know that you helped me.
So thanks for jump starting me.