So I guess I’m wondering if there is any difference in being dead in LA or NY. Not that I’m partial to either, but if I just go ahead and off myself in LA I would save a couple hundred for the plane ticket to New York. I guess I feel more comfortable in nyc, I know the area well and it would be nice to be there, something about the city I guess. It was the first place I really felt free. That would take a little bit more planning and less money to reimburse other people. Either way a hotel is pretty easy to get. I never really expected my life to change. I just don’t want to deal with other people always trying to bother or help me. And then they get angry at me when they help, even though I didn’t ask for it. Tried to show I appreciated it and thanked them. But you know, it doesn’t matter. I realize death is the way to go. Life is temporary and I don’t care to struggle like everyone else. The people I have met I hate. Truly hate. They will probably soon start forcing people to take medication so I don’t plan on waiting for more of my rights to get stripped away. We live in a pretty sick world. They already force institutionalization. If the mental hospital has taught me one thing, it’s not to mess up. So more and more research I guess. I’m probably going to try hanging this time, pain doesn’t really bother me. I always thought those who accidentally died of auto-erotic asphyxiation were pretty lucky. It’s too bad I don’t get off on it because it would be a pretty awesome way to go. The other more protracted plan is to get my hand on the ever coveted painless ********. Either way being alive is more trouble then it is worth. So I guess pitch in your thoughts if you would like me to have a more painless death, if not, don’t bother.
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How long you been dealing with this? Wanting to die?
How long you been dealing with this? Wanting to die?
Before I was even in elementary school, I remember crying on the steps saying I wish I was dead.
Family problems or just a mental thing you think? Shit sucks I know how you feel well I can’t exactly Say I do it’s like I know my death will be by suicide I just don’t know when in a year two years 15 or so I try to push on everyday but it all seems so useless n worthless when you have Noone who truly loves you ya know
Yup. It just makes me wonder when I see people on here post about living another 20 years and having gotten no where but more misery and suffering, makes it tough. I think of it as “family problems” that result in a mental thing lol.
I just don’t know if I should find a hotel and do it here or buy a plan ticket and figure out some other way.
Yeah that’s what I wonder too why wait why not just go for it now but I guess there’s always that tiny bit of hope deep deep in your heart that maybe hopefully it will all be better n ill be better off someday you know but reality typically slaps Me hard in the face n wakes me up again -_-… Crazy thing is I want to move to Cali so bad! I would kill to be living over there but then I wonder if I’m a miserable lonely fuck here would it make any difference if I was in Cali or would it just be the same thing only different place -_-
Oh weird I wish there was a way to switch locations lol. It’s honestly not what I prefer, you really need a car to get around and there is so much traffic. Where are you located now Ruiz?
You don’t want your fam to find out right away or why you wanna do it somewhere else?
I figure they will find out either way, just that maybe there’s a chance I would be better in NY again. Wishful thinking I guess.
I used to think that a change of scenery might jolt me out of this perpetual funk. However, the reality is I would still be the same lonely, depressed person no matter where I was.
Where is it that you moved?? Or you just believe that to be the truth??
Yup that’s pretty much how I see it too, like the change of scenery wouldn’t matter too much because I would still be the same person :/ I moved to sunny California from nyc Ruiz. I actually feel as though I was happier back in the city though, like you were kind of forced to be around people and go out all the time and there was always something going on.
How are you thinking of going out? I just read up on Jonestown and how they all drank poison cyanide to be exact and I wonder if that would be painless n peaceful… I think shit if 909 people could do that I’m sure I could too lol
I’ve thought about that as well but there’s actually the chance of doing some major intestinal damage as well. There are painless methods, but I’m not that confident in my chemistry abilities and skeptical of online websites. Can’t really talk about methods here but let’s just say I’m sticking to traditional.
yeah but that’s any city I used to love living in downtown chicago when I was off at college but the suburbs just blowwww but yeah i felt the same like it seemed everywhere you went you met people n got to at least feel like a human not all alone… I’m sure the city’s in Cali would be the same… but the Winters kill Me here I hate them although it seems like this summer has felt like a winter for Me =(
That’s really rough, I definitely feel for you. The suburbs and part time jobs can work a number on me. Especially with no A/C, that’s pretty much the norm in nyc though :/ Too many old buildings.
Theres a euthanasia video on Kaotic,I believe.The older woman drinks phenobarbitol in a cup -her friends are with her,and it takes just a couple minutes.She eats chocolate immediately following th drink-its awful bitter. She goes peacefully.Happily. Phenobarb is the most commonly used drug now,for euthanasia.For animals and humans.Its just going to sleep basically..Cyanide in Jonestown-If youve seen the pics of Jonestown,you can see its like they just lay down to sleep.I dont find it to appear as though there was discomfort. However-theres a video of a guy eating a cyanide pill in court after he is pronounced guilty-in a US court-and its not pretty. Seems like it hurts…its over quickly,though.
Yes, the cyanide has mixed results in terms of real life usage. I was under the impression that ******** was the euthanasia of choice? Any barbiturates really I guess.
I think nembutol is phenobarbitol..nearly.Youre prob right
Ive not looked at this stuff in awhile… its an ordeal to get euthanized .Theres a suicide tourism culture now,because its so ridiculously difficult to have assisted suicide.The law trying to prosecute loved ones for murder and shit like that..my thought is,heroin.Id buy heroin and OD.Not pretty,but peaceful for sure.
Its on youtube-Assisted suicide on Swiss TV its titled . Very peaceful
Look up Exit Bag Suicide Aid. Peaceful,and calm. The system is worldwide accepted to be a very good way to go
It is, absolutely but it helps to have someone assist with the bag and that is serious jail time. I’ve tried this way and failed.
Oh dear…the Exit bag is sposdto be foolproof because your body doesnt go into panic mode like it would with just a regular bag.You drift to sleep.Bc of the carbon dioxide situation.
It upsets me that they prosecute people.When a person states on video openly that they choose to die,and nobody is responsible but themselves…signs documents..its just FD up to go after people for helping someone.I
And my username comes full circle …
*evil laugh*
so you have tried the exit bag alum?? n it didn’t work?? … so it’ll knock you out right away then bam death??
Yes I have, I had my hand on quite a lot of barbiturates for my “anxiety problem” enough to knock me out unconscious. Problem is (and it could have been a mix of the other drugs) that the second between being aware enough to put a bag on and being “asleep” enough to not panic of being cut off oxygen becomes a very small window of time. So then either, bam it knocks you out and you never get the bag on to begin with, or like me, you take it off until you feel like you are more unconscious and then… boom, you end up in the hospital. sigh. Apparently I was struggling a lot and vomiting while I was blacked out too. No way to predict how you’ll react… just writing this made me sad.
thanks for that kaotic site -_- jk I hate looking at those crazy fucked up videos but i always end up doing it I just get to curious n keep watching em lol
Me TOO! Im addicted . Suicides on video fascinate me …and then the accidents suck me in. The mob justice and beheadings are gruesome as hell-i rarely watch them anymore
Phenobarb could be gotten by breaking into a vets office.It would be locked up,but a.crowbar wd likely pry the cabinet open- the way it was when I worked as a vet tech was pretty low tech security.Cabinets with a small lock that cs be easily breached
I actually thought about this before as well, since I was volunteering at a shelter that did euthanize dogs that were too dangerous.
can you send links to those videos by any chance?
The exit bag-requires an inert gas,like helium or ********.It prevents the panic response(hypercapnic alarm response) from the sense of suffocation.You dont feel that at all..you drift away painlessly and without fear..its endorsed by Right to die groups worldwide as a method that is certain to work,and painlessly.
Oh, I was totally missed that part.
Oh, I was totally missed that part.
it’s terrible cause I want my death to be peaceful n shit then i see these crazy hangings n shooting in the head and aaaaa it scares Me away from suicide. lol
According to Wikipedia on Suicide bags….lol. Hemlock Society is something iv meant to check out. They do advanced directives for medical situations-do not resuscitate orders,and stuff.
According to Wikipedia on Suicide bags….lol. Hemlock Society is something iv meant to check out. They do advanced directives for medical situations-do not resuscitate orders,and stuff.
Shit sorry-idk why it went twice. I agree with iruiz55-no gunshot suicide.Have you seen video of survivors of gunshot suicide attempts? I cant imagine living like that-Horrible! It happens ALL th TIME,too.
but yeah that shit’s my biggest fear when I see those videos like fuck imagine having to feel that pain on top of the pain you already feel and having to continue living FUCK THAT!
so you can buy that stuff from Hemlock society?? So you think sometimes poison does have painful effects sometimes it doesnt?? or all depends on the poison?… n damn Misanthrope you are one smart fellah looks like you know your stuff pretty well.