never in my life did I think there were as many people who feel the same way as me. I am 45, been battling since I was 10 or so. I have won and lost, two prior attempts that but by the grace of God i survived. However even though I firmly believe I am a walking miracle I still know that one day I will end it.
I don’t know exactly when, but I do know what will be my last straw, and that will be when I lose my best and only true friend Chip. my chocolate lab. he is 6 now, so I figure if I am lucky he will live to be 13. But once he goes, I go. No reason to stick around after, and I know I don’t have the strength to go through mourning him.
so I battle everyday to stay alive to take care of him, thats it. My life from the outside looking in looks rosey. Great job, well respected in the community, world traveller etc. etc. On the inside is nothing but emptiness, contempt for lift and an over abundance of love for my dog. how @$## up is that.
this is my first post, won’t be my last.