You normal people do not know how it feels to be different.
It’s like being lost in a dark forest, surrounded by a heavy fog. You sometimes see lights casted behind the fog, but only barely. You tried to follow the lights, but even if it is leading you to walk in circle, you could only keep on walking.
No one hear you scream. No one hear you cry.
You thought you have reached the end. In fact it is only more darkness.
You normal people sometimes give us positive feedback, give us hope, but most of the time you found us strange, weird.
I am confused. I don’t know what to do.
The only thing I ever wanted is to be happy, but all I get is pressure, conflicts and attacks come out of nowhere.
I tried to walk along this high bridge today. I walked back and forth. I wished to jump. I could not do it. My body won’t let me to.
I end up here.
I don’t know how long it would takes. I just hope it ends soon.
2 comments
I have noticed this on this site, the very short time I have been reading and posting here, that people seem to be imagining a group, a little community of like-minded souls that they are a part of.
And what’s weird about this is that many people, maybe most people seriously considering suicide are here because they don’t have a sense of connection, that is one of the three determiners the Dr. Joiner talks about in Myths about Suicide (an interesting book, though not very impartial.)
Lack of connection to others… and so they come to this website to sort of codify their determination to kill themselves and then inexplicably they find some kind of community here that was likely missing in there life and that this kinship, as superficial as it may be is what keeps them from acting on their suicide fantasy.
I know that’s a stretch, but there might be a kernel of truth in it, do you think?
I believe it os true.
I also believe some are determined to do it, like me.