So tired of this. I just wish I had the guts to actually jump. I wish I didnt care. Someone once told me that you should do suicide the way you take off a band-aid quick and at once, no backing out, no thinking about it. If only I could do that… Fuck, why can’t I do that!?!?
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I think because our bodies instinctively want to live and make every attempt to survive despite our brain knowing that no good will come of life. Our brain is able to predict the likelihood of success and whether or not the pain is worth the struggle but it doesn’t seem to be able to communicate that to the body. It’s been hard for me as well. I kept messing up most of the time, or the stupidest thing I would do is confess to someone. Queue the sirens and month in the funny barn for some hellish days of even worse existence and suffering. Honestly I want to rent a hotel room, order some fancy room service and just end it. Problem is, our bodies will naturally fight to survive and our instinct will kick in whether we are conscious or not. Stupid human body…
Probably because the consequences here are a little more serious, and final, than in the case of a band-aid, or pulling a tick off you. (hmm…is that a good reference, or am I just more country than I realize?) It’s a tough decision, and for something commonly labeled “the coward’s way out”, it sure as hell takes some balls.
Is it really that serious or final? We all die in the end, life itself temporary, you’re just shortening the gap. Life goes on, you don’t matter as much as you think you do in the grand scheme of things. This could also be the argument of why not to take your life. It simply does not matter if you die or not, soon those people who cared will be dead too. Might as well live since your life never mattered to begin with. I feel like I may be talking myself into circles here. Serious in the grand scheme of things, I don’t think so. Maybe that takes a bit of the burden of living life away too. Who knows.
Our brains don’t have the whole story. If thoughts and judgments keep giving rise to unpleasant feelings, it might be useful to use different thoughts and judgments. It’s not like we aren’t all living in our own reality anyway. Well, that’s my strategy anyway. Years of “reality” weren’t making it any easier to function in the world.
As for life being temporary, yeah; that’s true, but it would be a bummer to miss out on any lessons and have to be recycled for another go around because we decided to cut class. It ‘s true that we may not all achieve greatness or fame, but that doesn’t mean we may not doing something highly meaningful for someone when they need it most.
Oh for sure, my version of reality may be skewed but I did get the short end of the stick in life (and some people bounce back from that better than others). Yes it makes it much easier if I ignore some things, makes it easier to function in this society but I know deep down the significance of what I felt was important. Many of us are not outraged enough but just go on trudging through the injustice in life. I understand what you are saying, but I’m having a pretty off week so I can’t really see what you’re seeing from that happy cloud of optimism.
Or maybe I secretly want to live. I dunno, I’m not too in touch with my brain when it comes to feelings
Theres always the risk that you will end up brain damaged or incapacitated. Of course, you are very likely to die by jumping off a building. I also do not have the guts to do so. Many do not. And yeah the human body wants to keep going
I think jumping of a building would be fun. One last drink and step off.
I was standing on a tiny platform once. Could have jumped off and died. I was scared as fuck. It was quite a long way down. Why did they make them so tiny? This was at school camp. I wasnt suicidal back then though.
i’ve never been high enough where i felt if i jumped i could die. need to change that.
I don’t know, I was dangling off a 12th story building into direct concrete but couldn’t make the jump since someone (I texted a goodbye) pulled me back, still regret their interference to this day. That would have been very fatal and very quick. I shouldn’t have said anything and missed my chance.
I don’t have anyone to text goodbye, so I guess i’m good.
Well I certainly learned from my mistake.
Fright