You ignorant fool
Why do I love someone like you so much?
Why so long?
I just can’t be around you anymore
Because I know there’s someone you care about
More than I
You don’t love me anymore
And yet those moments when I can touch you
And hold you
You still hold my hand
In those moments
You’re mine again
And I suppose it’s sad
That the moments I feel the most loved by you
Are those times when you hit me around
And choke me
And call me names
That’s when I feel your affection most
Like maybe nothing has changed
When I know it has
But I just can’t accept it
I can’t handle these emotions as well as others can
And I know it’s pathetic
How much I want to cut
And die
Just because of you
And yet it’s even more pathetic
Knowing the biggest reason
I won’t kill myself
Is because I know
That eventually
You’d forget me
And I just can’t stand knowing that
I can’t stand the idea that she would take over your life
And that the shrinking pocket in your mind
Devoted to me
Would eventually diminish
Because I’m not there anymore
To remind you of my existence
I don’t know why this bothers me so much
Or why I decided falling in love at all was a good idea
I was right all along
The hurt overpowers the happiness
I don’t think it’s worth it
But then I don’t know anything anymore