I tried hanging myself the other day. I wanted everything to be over. I was tired of suffering the way I was. It goes so beyond depression, too. I suffer from schizophrenia, which is like the worst thing ever. I also suffer from Sickle Cell Anemia. So in addition to seeing and hearing things, I have intense pain all over my body. I can hardly get out of bed some days. I hate myself. I feel like I’m hiding behind all of it, wanting people to feel sorry for me.
The belt I used to hang myself broke as I began to lose consciousness. So I cried my eyes out for an hour or so, feeling ultra pathetic. I don’t know why I’m posting this here. I’m not looking for sympathy. I don’t know what I’m looking for.