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pointless

by shadowmask

I told my bestfriends i think of suicide everynight. Of course i didnt just randomly bring up the suject. They demand to know whats wrong. Then when i tell them they say oh you already told me that. Okay so did you want to know for your health? they didnt even give a fuck. Confiding in other people is pointless

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AMaskOfLies 8/31/2014 - 3:41 am

Not everyone. Most people are just plain stupid (myself included, actually), but I’m willing to listen.

shadowmask 8/31/2014 - 3:46 am

I just feel like I cant go on anymore. It hurts too much. Every single day I hurt.

AMaskOfLies 8/31/2014 - 3:51 am

Pain is how you know you’re alive. Just think about everyone going about in their daily lives with these protective bubbles around them. Many of them don’t reflect on the pain that they feel. Only people as strong as you can. So please don’t give up.

DarkestRaven 8/31/2014 - 3:47 am

I’m sorry you’re hurting so much were all here to listen!

shadowmask 8/31/2014 - 3:52 am

My biggest fear in life is failure. I would honestly rather quit now than try my best and still not be enough. Still not be pretty enough or smart enough. Id rather not feel so pathetic.

snuffles 8/31/2014 - 3:55 am

But, you’ll never succeed at anything if you don’t try, and if you’re too afraid of failure then you’ll never attempt to. So you’re shooting yourself in the foot before you even step onto the battle field. I understand your worry, but, well, I ask you to read the above sentences again.

shadowmask 8/31/2014 - 3:56 am

I wish I was oblivious to pain and had a bubble. Im 17 and my mom died om my birthday two months ago. She verbally abused me from time to time but it wasnt all bad. But it happened in one day. Literally here one day gone the next. Never told me she loved me and has tried to fight me. now shes gone. Did she ever even love me? why does god put me through this. Im a good person.

shadowmask 8/31/2014 - 3:58 am

Of all people in my school me. Of all mothers in the world mine. And of all days in the year my birthday.

secondlife 8/31/2014 - 4:06 am

@shadowmask,

I can only imagine what you’re going through, especially at your age. My mother wasn’t perfect either but overall she was a good mother…she lives with me and is in her mid 60s now. Her health is not very good and my siblings and I don’t think she’ll live very long.

I don’t want to lose here-but at least I got to have my mother around into my mid-life. I’m sorry for your loss and I’d suggest reaching out to someone who you trust and care about who can be supportive to you. Also to be closer with your loved ones since they can help you get over the grief. All the best and keep in mind, we here can be a source of support as well (ignore the trolls/assholes) most people here are good, kind and helpful individuals.

DarkestRaven 8/31/2014 - 3:59 am

Society puts such a high standard for everything.. I don’t know you but I can tell you one thing beauty only goes so far people should look at you more for personality than anything.. And as far as you saying you’re not smart enough you can always teach yourself things.. I get your fear of failing.. I am not perfect no one is!! I have my own problems we all do and as much as I contemplate things on my own I know eventually that I’m order to learn you always fail a few times… You might not feel like you’re good enough now but you are.. And I’m not just trying to sugar coat things..

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