In the year 2010 I had two psychotic breakdowns and was forcibly hospitalised twice.
These were a direct result of my best friend and my partner turning on me, ganging up (with others) against me and leaving me in the ditch.
I kid you not.
The story’s too long. I haven’t the strength to tell it now. But yesterday with my new counsellor I managed to get it out somehow.
I no longer dare put my trust and faith in any human being.
I’m still haunted by the nightmare of that year.
I isolate myself. I’m still friends with my ex partner (because otherwise I would have basically nobody), though he never apologised. He’s never been able to apologise for anything in all the years I’ve known him. So I guess I had a lucky escape. What kind of person is never wrong? Is that really someone I want to commit myself to?
As for the friend, apparently she cannot even hear my name mentioned. She clings to the grudge four years on, with all her friends, her family, her husband and young child around her. Yes – bullies prosper in this life. Manipulative liars do very well indeed, thank you. Honesty is the worst policy. If you have integrity, prepare to be persecuted for it.
I was the scapegoat for all of them. Might as well have had ‘victim, kick me’ tattooed on my forehead I guess.
Is it really any wonder I don’t want to get close to anyone?
As I say, the story is looong. I can’t tell it now. Maybe one day I dunno. Don’t trust. Don’t love.
I fought bravely, like a tiger once upon a time. These and other life events broke me down, crushed my spirit. I don’t know if I can get back up. Once a victim, always a victim? Or can I one day walk free from this death sentence?
Only time will tell.
19 comments
I hate cussing but I feel this is needed. Fuck them! Some people are just so freaking awful. I don’t get why people do things like that. I truly don’t. I’m sorry they were so cruel to you. But just remember that just because they’re successful doesn’t mean they’re liked. One day they will realize they have no true friends for their horrible ways and fall off their high horse and take a long tumble down.
Wow…horrible, truly abysmal. And wtf does your ex best friend have a grudge for? Wish you didn’t feel you have to stay friends with your ex – without any kind of contrition/repentance on their part. Maybe they’re what’s keeping you from making newer and better connections?
Idk the story, but what you have said is … well it’s harsh and brutal and absolutely unfair on you.
Thanks for cussing them Stargazer, lol.
My ex best friend claimed that I bullied HER. This is a common tactic of bullies, playing the victim.
I wish I had the strength to tell my ex where to stick his friendship. But I fear being completely alone to be honest. We never talk about it. I’ve never asked him for an apology. I don’t feel I should have to ask, and as I say, he never apologised in his life, for anything!
It’s like a freaking Greek tragedy. Thanks for the support guys.
I fear being completely alone, too. My ex boss texted me asking for sex when he and his girlfriend were having problems. I’m married by the way. Even though my husband lives in a different state, does not mean I am going to cheat on him.
I have to be nice to him and can’t tell his gf what he did because I need him as a reference on my resume. *sigh* He’s also buying other bars, that I’m not allowed into because he doesn’t want to make her jealous. I feel like I’m being manipulated. I think I might a post about this.
The people who can grow a set of balls sure do seem to have it better than the rest of us. They get ahead because, “It’s just business.”
No problem. Those guys are jerks I hope their fall comes soon.
The twist in the tale was that later on my ex-friend and her cronies turned on him and he got to be the outcast! He admitted he was totally fooled by their ‘nice’ act. Yet still no apology! Aaaaaarrrrgggghhhh!
What kind of person is never wrong? A narcissist.
…or, a person who is intellectually honest, and understands not to leap to assumptions not indicated by the available evidence.
Nothing wrong with striving to never be wrong. Being wrong can be quite costly, and should be avoided to the extent possible.
“Yes – bullies prosper in this life. Manipulative liars do very well indeed, thank you. Honesty is the worst policy. If you have integrity, prepare to be persecuted for it.”
Couldn’t have said it better myself, my friend. You are 100% correct. That is my problem. I’m too nice. I’m too trusting. When you’re nice, you get walked all over and used and abused.
I tried telling my husband this, and he said, “Then change.” *sigh*
Wow, I sure chose my closest people well, didn’t I? I loved them both dearly. Fooled myself that the feeling was mutual – and that they were both worthy of trust. Seems I truly cannot trust my own judgment when it comes to people.
You sound like me. Well, on here we can all say, “Fuck those people!!!!” Now if only we could do it in real life.
Can we?
Ah, but, can’t you?
You can!
There is nothing real stopping you from simply saying “fuck you!” directly to the face of anyone you feel deserves it. You only have to decide to be true to yourself, despite fear. It’s not that you have to lack fear, but that you have to manifest courage.
“All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men to do nothing.” – Edmund Burke
Your story sounds a lot like mine and even happened in the same year.
Thanks yoohoo! I felt there was some universal truth somewhere in that garbled post! Good to know that someone else has noticed this.
Maybe as I continue in the counselling I’ll get the strength to either confront my ex, or just cut off the friendship. He probably sounds like such a bastard, but on the whole he’s a kind and decent man. Yet he has this fatal flaw of not being able to admit wrongdoing.
It makes me puke that he and the ***** of an ex friend are able to live full and happy lives, while I languish in suicidal despair, lol.
Fuck ’em all, eh?
Fuck ’em all. Some people don’t deserve your friendship, nor mine.
It’s feels horrible seeing bullies succeeding, doesn’t it?
That’s been my experience as well in life. In this world evil almost always wins. You see the good people get shit on and the most vile rise to the top. People who try to have a semblance of honor get crushed and beaten down. One of the reasons I’ve lost faith in a god. I used to be a believer and at one point had faith, but after experiencing human nature in all it’s glory for 28 years it’s hard to believe in a god. If there is a god we are like ants he/she doesn’t care one iota about us.
Also anyone who is different from the herd in any way is castigated and condemned to live a life as an outcast. I’m new to the site but I’ve been reading many posts here including yours. You say don’t trust don’t love, I think you should love just don’t trust. I’ve lived my entire life in utter darkness with very little love, so trust me when I say love is a wonderful thing to have and many people take it for granted. Anyway I wish you and the other people on this site suffering the best.
I wish it were true that her friends saw through her lies and grew to dislike her, but I see no sign of it…she’s a very social person, always the centre of attention. A drama queen. They have everyone fooled it seems, not just me.