scars

scarsI don’t know what to do anymore.. I battle with severe anxiety, depression, insomnia and anger issues.I try my hardest to be what they want me to be.. the perfect daughter. Have the perfect grades, I was working 2 jobs but I just can’t cope any more. I’m lost. Dropped out of school at 15. Quit one job. Have barely any shifts at the other one. I blow up at everyone over everything. I can’t help myself .I cry everynight trying to think of new ways to be perfect… I tried cutting… It just wasn’t my thing so I started burning myself. The pain is a sudden rush for me. I adore it. I can hide it easily when the time comes, I just say it was the curling iron or the oven. My parents don’t notice though.. only cause they’re too busy telling me what I did to screw up again. Dad wants me to move out again but I have no where to go.he says he done being my dad..They don’t wanna deal with me so they sent me off to HeadSpace.. they don’t want me either… I now attend Child and Adolescent Mental Health Services (CAMHS) I’ve been attending for over a yeah now and still no progress… The man in my head just keeps telling me to end it. To give up.to kill myself.. I tried overdosing.. but it took too long… Someone took me to the hospital.. had my stomach pumped…I keep thinking… Should just give into the man again..?just end it all.?   Will you help me.?  :/… I need help….