I don’t know what i’m doing, i’m trying to find reasons not to die but its becoming exceedingly difficult each day. I don’t feel i’m worth anything to anyone, i know i’m not. I don’t make attachments or really feel anything towards anyone, but there is always this one person it all goes into. Every time i love i’m brought to a grinding halt, reminded why i shouldn’t go there.
I really wish i knew what the point to all this is, everything is just pointless bullshit. What’s the point of living when you’re brain dead? when nothing makes you happy, sad or excited?
I’m trying to cry out for help, but no one can help me and it’s so incredibly frustrating. How do you describe the absence of anything, complete numb nothingness to someone and except they have a life changing answer or solution?
i think i might just reseed back into my hole now. Try and figure out what i’m doing.
I think i need a cat.